This time last year we were sunning ourselves in Picardy, courtesy of Eurocamp. This year we are going nowhere; instead I’m playing at being the foreman and chief coffee maker while we have our new kitchen fitted.
As you can see we now have some units, temporary worktops and a jigsaw pattern of tiles which has given me an overwhelming urge to play hopscotch. However, unlike Dorothy, I’m not allowed to follow the yellow brick road while the cement is drying.
There are certain things I have learned, as we are coming to the end of Week Four of Kitchengate.
Do not, under any circumstances, flick through kitchen magazines once your chosen units start to arrive. It does you no good to be hankering after lime-green splashbacks and white acrylic soft-touch cupboards when you’ve already chosen a classic maple wood with chrome handles.
Microwave meals are only fun for a week. Prepare for the coming of the kitchen by cooking and freezing ahead. Imagining you will be constantly barbecueing in May is a tad optimistic.
Bedtime reading will consist of instruction manuals for new appliances. Most of these seem chiefly concerned with health and safety matters. Ovens, apparently, are hot.
If you choose a cooker hood above a central island, think ahead about the height of your ceiling and the height of your husband’s head.
Dust gets everywhere and curtains are not an effective barrier.
Teenage boys are not woken by drilling and sawing at 8am, even if the work is occuring directly underneath their bedroom.
When the kitchen company tell you it will probably take five or six weeks to do the work, don’t laugh at such an absurd notion……