Half way through our second full day in Stockholm, Rory wrestled my trusty notebook out of my hands and wrote the following:
“Awkward and slightly embarrassing moments
- Mum unable to say ‘hop on, hop off’
- Dad unable to use credit card properly
- Indecisive when buying hot-dogs
- Getting in the boat
- Getting out of the boat
- Looking at maps too often
- Leaving the Photographic museum by accident, having just entered”
This was the day we expected drizzle so we decided to cram in a few things, using the Hop On, Hop Off sightseeing boat, which also gave us discounts on a number of attractions. Let me answer my critic and explain how we became embarrassing parents:
- I cannot say, ‘hop on, hop off’. It comes out as ‘hop on, hoff off’. The boys thought I was completely mad but please do try saying this out loud and tell me I’m not the only one.
- Dougie shouldn’t be let loose near a parking meter, credit card machine or vending machine. He puts cards in upside down, presses the wrong button, loses coins. His brain freezes and the machine follows suit.
- It was raining, Rory was hungry, we were near an amusement park and the only instant fuel was a hot dog stand. Too many varieties, no idea what they were called. I annoyed my son even more my making inane chit-chat with the woman serving. I did this a lot on holiday, accompanied by over-enthusiastic laughter regarding translation and inability to speak the lingo. In restaurants I am worse because I sing or hum along to background music. I have turned into my mother. Rory prefers us all to be anonymous and not bring attention to ourselves.
- We tried to hop on the boat at one stop but, because it was raining, the door was shut. We couldn’t work out how to open it so waved at the people inside.
- We nearly forgot to hop off at one point and were forced to do an embarrassing scramble up the aisle.
- I love maps and guide books but can’t seem to retain the information contained within. Five seconds after I have used the map to locate a street, I need to look at it again because I have forgotten where I should be going.
- Having paid our entrance fee to the Fotografiska, we had to use the ticket to go though the turnstile. This, for Dougie, was tricky in itself. We then decided we were hungry, the restaurant was on the top floor and I spotted an elevator back in the gift shop. It was only having gone through another turnstile to reach the shop, we realised we had exited the museum and couldn’t get back in. This required queuing for a replacement ticket. We will, no doubt, go down in history as the fastest ever visit to this museum: about 30 seconds.
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| The most embarrassing parents in the world? |
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Some great moments there. I can actually say 'hop on hop off' without mishap – sorry . 🙂
I like walking round with a map too. I don't like getting lost in towns really. I've forgotten if I have to keep looking at it or not. 😀
Anyway, embarrassing your kids is one of life's small but exquisite joys. They'll also have that pleasure to come. It's good to have something to look forward to.
I don't think I always used to have to keep referring to the map: I suspect that's just my age.
I must tell my son this very wise thing that you have said: I'm sure he believes we do it on purpose…maybe we do 😉
Its just a question of breathing in the right place. Without taking a breath it comes out as "Hop on opoff".
I did try to run the words together, with much more success, but was informed I was cheating!
Loving your trip to Sweden. Laughed at Rory being embarrassed! Brought back memories of our trip to Rome you Dad and Stephen wishing I would just keep quiet I kept putting my foot in it. The years go by very quickly. Love Mum xxxxxx
Those were such great holidays, Mum. And I remember being acutely embarrassed too: daft really as no-one else pays any attention but as a teen you think all eyes are upon you!
Lots of love xxxx
Sorry pet – not being able to say "hop on hop off" doesn't even run in the family. I managed it quite well although found it harder to type.
Bum. Just me then!
'I've turned into my mom'…..oh Trish, how often I say that…….and when I am being particularly annoying to my daughter (maybe breathing too regularly or asking where something is) she reminds me that I am being very Grandma…..
but fate, if kind, will send her teenagers of her own one day..tee hee.
ps your escapades are very funny…..how do you manage to function so well in the real world?
'Breathing too regularly" – ah that made me chuckle!
I function well in the real world because, apart from holidays, I'm not allowed out, unless on a long leash. How Dougie manages in the world of General Practice is anybody's guess.
That did make me giggle, thankfully I still have a few years in the bank before I embarrass my kids.
I too can say "hop on, hop off" without any difficulty. Are your teeth in properly?
Looks like I'll have to get a new set: these obviously aren't up to the task.
Brilliant… I too have turned into my mother, but that's not a bad thing thankfully! I can say hop on, hop off no problem too, but we did almost have a few problems hopping on and off those taxi boat things in Venice recently if that makes you feel any better… 😀
That makes me feel marginally better.
I have since tried saying 'hop on, hop off' and it is getting easier. It must have been all that schleppi-homen-gatan-vagan stuff that affected my speech at the time :-)))
You don't look old enough to have your Rory! I bet there's a song about hop on, hop off that you can't sing as well!
You're too kind, but then the photo was taken at some distance away, with pressure from me for him to stand further back so he could get the Royal Palace in.
I know The Wheels on the Bus – maybe that has a new line: the mummies on the bus say hop on, hoff off??
This sounds very familiar. In fact, it sounded so familiar that I read this post to Cullen today. He concurred that Rory was correct, and that all of the incidents described were, in fact, legitimately embarrassing for a teenager. He also has come to the conclusion that all Mums-who-blog are overly chatty with strangers (I feel that a sample of precisely two of us is not exactly overwhelming proof, but he disagrees.)
You can only imagine the eye-rolling that took place when we managed to lose our way following the Freedom Trail through Boston….
I do think maybe Cullen has a point about the mums-who-blog, loathe though I am to admit a teenage boy may be correct. We're so used to chatting online with people we've never met, we carry this on in the real world.
Glad to see you're not letting the side down: getting lost is a sure-fire way of causing the dreaded eye-rolling.
I wish to challenge you on the "most embarrassing parents in the world" status; as to name but one example of my going beyond the call of 'embarrassing the youngsters' obligations. I danced (that's what I at least called it) without the aid of alcohol and publically, and in a retro 80's -ish style, with sufficient light that photographs/ videoes could be "You tubed", and according to credible sources I am in danger of possibly going viral. Apparently I was not quite Baby freezing, planking, locking or something like that, I may have need to check with Wiki that I have recorded such modern dance moves correctly.
In a move for parental unity, the wife said I was "twitching", I was not sure if this was a new dance step or just an insult.
This is pretty shocking stuff, Bass, and although I am immensely proud of the efforts you made to thoroughly embarrass your children, I'm wondering if maybe you've gone a tad too far this time. Pure folly.
*goes off to google 'video of strange man twitching on the dance floor'*
Haha. That is too funny. I think Rory has a future as a writer. In a few simple bullet points he has perfectly captured the teenaged take on family holidays. I particularly love the speed of your visit to the Photography Museum.
Rory often helps me with my blog when we're away. Sometimes we sit in the evening, when I'm scribbling in a note book and he chips in with things I've forgotten.
The Photography museum fiasco was even more frustrating for Rory as he could guess what was going to happen so refused to go back through the second turnstile. He stood on the other side just shaking his head while we queued up again.
Trish we have failed as parents if we don't continually embarrass our teenage off spring at every possible moment. My very being is an toe curling red cheeking of embarrassment to them. I am about to set off on holiday with 3 older teens shortly to be joined by another where I expect myself and t'other adults with provide plenty of eye rolling moments and teenage "kevinitis"
You're going to have four teenagers watching your every move? Oh lord, you have my sympathy, but then there's a part of me which thinks making four of them cringe at once must be particularly satisfying!
Very funny post..loved it. I can say hop on hop off no problems. I also chat to all and sundry when out, but I don"t have a blog, so not sure what my excuse is!
You might not have a blog, Frances, but as you comment on others' I think that means it's also in your nature to chat to all and sundry! Welcome to the gang!
Hilarious and I'm very sorry but I can say hop on hop off quite easily! However, I am so with you on the map thing – I'm hopeless, much to to the chagrin of the Shah because I also have zero sense of direction 🙁
I even turn the wrong way when I leave a shop or hotel room. What's worse is I have a Geography degree.
He keeps a list? And yet you continue to feed and house him. I would award you Mother of the Year.
Haha! Do you know, you're quite right – I will accept that award with pride.
ha ha – i love indecisive when buying hotdogs, but TBH the whole list is hilariously brilliant!