Regular readers will know this feature on my blog usually involves my inability to finish sentences or think of people’s names when talking with my teenage son. In a recent twist, I also had a ridiculous conversation with my husband about Radio 2 DJs. However it is unusual for both parties in the discussion to suffer from the same affliction.
Without further ado, I give you the ‘Conversation I wish I’d never started’ starring my mother.
Mum: Have you seen that annoying advert on the telly with the mother of that presenter?
Me: Which presenter?
Mum: Good-looking bloke. Â Married to the woman who does Dancing on Ice.
Me: Holly Willoughby? I didn’t know her husband was a presenter? Are you not thinking of the bloke she does that morning programme with?
Mum: Oh, what’s his name again? Paul something?
Me: Oh I can see him…grey hair, little chap.
Mum: Philip..
Me: Philip….Philip Schofield?
Mum: Yes, but it’s not him. He’s tall with a Yorkshire accent.
Me: Oh I know who you mean. What’s he called? Vernon!
Mum: Vernon Kay!Yes, that’s him.
Me: He’s not married to Holly Willoughby.
Mum: Well he’s married to that blonde woman who does the dancing on ice.
Me: No, he’s married to the blonde woman who does Strictly Come Dancing.
Mum: What’s her name then?
Me: Oh god, what is it now?
Rory (shouting through from the living room) : For god’s sake! Tess Daly! Married to Vernon Kay. And he’s not from Yorkshire, he’s from Bolton, Lancashire.
Me: So what’s the advert for?
Mum:Â No idea, but I can’t stand it anyway.
Haha! That sounds sooo familiar! One step closer to us turning into our mothers !
I have definitely turned into mine. I make conversation with checkout assistants. I used to be embarrassed when she did that and now I enjoy the chat!
I don't forget names – I just give people the wrong names regardless. I know their names, but just say the wrong one aloud.
This runs in my family – I'm well on the way…
Welcome to the club, Macy!
This is a sitcom script. Pure and simple. You need to keep a tape recorder with you at all times.
Fancy writing it with me, like Perry and Croft – all the best comedy script writers seem to work in pairs?
Well at least you don't get told off for not knowing what your mother is thinking. LOL
You're right- we were totally in synch! Hopeless but at least together in our ignorance.
Mr. Pedantic here! Didn't your mother start this conversation?
Bugger. I was waiting for someone to spot that. Should have put money on it being you, Troy 🙂
Brilliant! Been trawling on twitter & got cross. This has cheered me! Thank you!
My pleasure. Glad to have put a smile on your face!
Love it! Made me laugh out loud, to husband's confusion! What a great idea for a post – as they say, the best ideas are always the simplest ones. I will think of this when trying not to lose my rag with my mum, as I' m about to spend 6 weeks in her house!!
Six weeks! Deep breaths and count to ten…
I knew exactly who she meant immediately..I hate that ad too!! and my daughter keeps telling me I am turning in to Grandma…I have no control..it just happens!
Mum will be pleased you don't like the ad: that will make the whole sorry conversation worthwhile. And yes, the metamorphosis is inevitable I suppose.
That had me laughing too, but by the time I got to near the end I'd forgotten what the original question was!
Ha! Yes, I think some time probably elapsed before I remembered to ask about the advert itself.
Brilliantly painful. Thanks for sharing and giving me a laugh this morning 🙂
Happy to be of service, Sarah! 🙂
*bangs head on wall*
I know, pitiful isn't it, though I have to say usually my mother's memory is impeccable: she's like an elephant. Must have been my influence!
Oh dear, your brain sounds as addled as mine. It is a very annoying advert though.
So you know the one she means? I can't remember it, or what it's for. Maybe have to google it.
My mother and I both have annoying habits also of picking up a conversation we had a half hour ago without warning, so you all would sound like sane-house compared to us!
Ha! Shows you are in tune with each other. Confusing for everyone else though!
And now we know where you get it from 😉
I hope Rory takes after his father!