These conversations usually occur between my son or husband and me (see conversations 1 to 6 here). It’s not usual to have one with someone outside the family. Not so today when I find myself in conversation with the bathroom fitter who is fixing us up with a new downstairs loo, prior to getting started on the main bathroom in the New Year.
Picture the scene. Fitter is attaching long door handle to cupboard underneath basin.
Fitter: Do you want it horizontal or vertical?
Me: Vertical, I think.
Tiler (joining in the debate) – will it hit your knees if it’s vertical?
Me: Hmm. Horizontal matches the handles on the drawers in the utility room?
Fitter: Yeah but the cupboards have vertical handles.
Me: Vertical it is then.
Fitter: Ok, do you want it nearer the top, middle or bottom?
Me: Ha, sounds like that game show.
Fitter: Oh yeah, the one with the hot spots. What was it called?
Me: Play Your Cards Right?
Fitter: Nah, that’s not it.
Me: No, you’re right. That was a Bruce Forsyth one.
Fitter: The Price is Right?
Me: That was Leslie Crowther, wasn’t it? Mind you, didn’t Bruce do that one as well?
Fitter: I think he did. So who did the top, middle or bottom one?
Dougie (entering the utility room): It was a Michael Barrymore show.
Me: Yes, it was! Still don’t know the name.
Dougie: Take Your Pick?
Me: No, that was Des O’Connor.
Dougie: Google it!
Tiler: I’m losing the will to live.
Me: (googling) Strike it Lucky!
Everybody: That’s it! How could we forget that.
Fitter: So, where do you want the handle?
Me: Oh, I don’t know. Wherever you think looks best.