Hearing the story of a friend whose husband always slept naked, my grandmother once said, in her inimitable northern style, “It’d be like having strawberries for your tea every night.” By that she meant, if something is no longer a special treat it ceases to have appeal.
Shakespeare said something similar to my granny in the opening lines of Twelfth Night:
‘If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
This tends to be my feeling with regard to erotic fiction. When there is page after page of sex, I start to become bored and any frisson of excitement I might have initially experienced, soon wanes and I wish they would go and do a spot of gardening instead.
But maybe I’m out of step? Erotic fiction is now the flavour of the month, following on from the recent success of Fifty Shades of Grey. I haven’t read the series, but I am aware of the views for and against. One of the main criticisms levelled at the trilogy is that it is poorly written, with a clunky first-person style. Thankfully Valentina, written by Evie Blake (pen name for the author Noelle Harrison) is well-written for this genre. The novel is inspired by the 1960s style icon from Guido Crepax’s original illustrations and this helps to push it up a notch from the usual fare.
The story concerns two women: Valentina, a photographer living in Milan in 2012 and Bella, a courtesan from Venice in 1924. Valentina finds it difficult to settle down with her boyfriend, Theo, until a side of her, until now unexplored, is revealed when she accepts an assignment involving the darker side of desire. Bella, meanwhile, abused by her husband, adopts a secret life as a prostitute, constantly seeking true love.
What I don’t get about this type of women’s erotica are the odd rules which seem to govern the language used. Why is it okay to write ‘penis’ but not ‘vagina’? Why is everything couched in such a coy manner? Even the scenes involving domination and submission were more M&S than S&M. It must make it very difficult for a writer of this genre to come up with expressions for a woman’s genitals without using common words. Blake does her best with this most of the time, but I did howl with laughter at the sentence “She feels a finger gently outlining her oval, and then pushing into its plushness”. However I did cheer when, after countless sexual escapades, eventually on page 344 I read the word ‘clitoris’. I wonder how that slipped in?
I’m reviewing this book and yet I would never have picked it up in the first place, so I do appreciate that I am maybe being a little unfair. Readers who seek out erotic fantasy such as this will find what they are looking for and more. There were parts of the novel which intrigued me: the glimpses of Milan and Venice and the denouement regarding Theo’s collection of paintings, but all this did was make it obvious to me that I’m not the target audience. But, you see, when I read a book which has sexual scenes in it, I’m just like my grandmother – yes, give me strawberries, but only when they’re in season.
Valentina is published by Headline, in paperback original and eBook, priced £7.99
Regarding The Clitoris am always reminded of the scene in Shirley Valentine when she asks Joe if he has heard of it. To which his reply is "Yes. But the Ford Escort is better".
I'd forgotten that line, Sally. Of course, I still chuckle about that word after staying at the Klitterhus this summer in Sweden…
I agree that strawberries are a lovely treat but let's not forget the many people who have to pick their own.
Yes, folk who live in the city have no idea how we country-dwellers manage when there are no shops around 😉
"on page 344 I read the word 'clitoris'. I wonder how that slipped in?" – so many comebacks went through my head. So many! 😉
And I was waiting for them! ;-))
Ha!Hilarious review! Laughing over my coffee and will be in a much cheerier mood on the way to work this morning. When I was much younger, one of my friends had a mum who read those bodice-ripping soft-core erotic historical romances – lots of ravishing and codpieces and pantalets and the like. We used to borrow them to read and laugh our heads off at all of the sobriquets that the authors came up with for genitalia. Beloved of the genre was always, 'his throbbing manhood' and the woman's equipment often included the descriptive adjective, 'silken.' Hadn't thought of that in years, and, yes, a spot of gardening would probably do it for me about now…
I suppose this genre is erotic 'fantasy' and therefore not meant to be real. But now and again it would be lovely if the couples actually laughed: it's all so serious.
I think it varies from book to book on what language is used (yes, I've read one or two of them but not the Gray ones) and I think the challenge of erotic fiction writers is to create a story that doesn't become mundane by the end. Having said all that sensible stuff I can now move on to say how completely unexpected it was to read this review this morning! And when you started putting in quotes from the book I started getting all panicky–I don't want to hear a friend reading erotica to me! LALALALALALALA Hands on ears! Oh, what a prude I must be 😉
Great post, I enjoyed this Trish! x
I didn't know that the language varies; that's useful to know. You're spot on about the challenge being to keep the story going. In that respect, Evie Blake does very well because although I flagged in the middle, I was curious to know how things would turn out for the two women.
So sorry to be saying rude things and giving you a bit of a start this morning. You can take your fingers out of your ears now, Michelle, normal service will resume soon.
Give me a good thriller any day!
Each to his or her own, but I do agree.
Oh I can't be doing with all this erotic fiction, I just don't get it. I'd rather be actually doing it and I'm a busy girl, I don't have time to do it and read about it!
Ha! Quite right!
I remember as a teenager reading Lady Chatterley's Lover and finding that very exciting – it was realistic and the language more gritty. I'm sure a chapter of that now would still do the trick!
You do make me laugh Mrs! More M&S than S&M… I did read the first 50 shades book and it was so poorly written it was laughable, at least this lady sounds like she can write, even if she can't quite bring herself to mention the word vagina… 😀
Thanks Emma! I thought of doing a serious review but it just wasn't me.
I imagine the author was given guidelines about the language to use as this was a project to turn the Valentina graphic books into prose. She strikes me as an intelligent woman who is able to deliver what was required.
Oh Trish – your Grandma sounds a classic. I thought the strawberrys were a reference to something else but there I go again. maybe I should be an erotica writer. This Halloween many more of the Mums were out with a Sand M leaning so maybe all this guff is becoming mainstream? Oh er Missus has become Oh ouch Missus?
Knowing my grandma, who knows what the strawberry reference actually meant. You could be right.
I gather sales of whips and sex toys have gone through the roof since Fifty Shades so your Halloween costume info doesn't surprise me!
Most erotic fiction makes me feel embarrassed to be reading it and it generally leaves me cold.
Yup, I'm with you TSB. I'd rather there was a good storyline and some humour. Give me a laugh any day.
I'm afraid I gagged at the word "plushness" ! Pur-lease!
Plushness should be reserved for sofas!
I don't think I'll be reading this one, but I think you owe it to us to continue your opinions on erotica, preferably with as many quotes from your granny as possible.
I felt my own oval shrivel somewhat when I saw the photo on your previous post.
Budge up on the Prude's Bench.
Ah you like granny – and the Swedish sculpture is quite apt. I should have put he two posts together.
Not much room on this bench now – you can perch on the arm.