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Home  >  Blog  >  Who remembers ‘Acorn Antiques’?

Who remembers ‘Acorn Antiques’?

Trish Burgess Posted on17/12/201216/09/2016 Musical Theatre/Am dram/Entertainment 18 Comments

There are so many things I should be doing this week in preparation for Christmas: food shopping, finding the tablecloth and ironing it, cleaning the house properly before my mother arrives on Sunday. All these things are being put on the back boiler because instead I have been sucked into the world of musicals yet again.

Although I’ve been part of the SADOS concert group for the last few months, it’s a couple of years since I’ve been involved in a full-blown musical production. The last one was in 2010, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Since then I have taken a couple of years off (resting, darling) and hadn’t planned to return to it just yet. But then I heard that the committee had changed its mind regarding the 2013 musical and instead of Jack the Ripper, which didn’t much float my boat, they have decided on the gloriously silly Acorn Antiques – The Musical. 


Some of you will have no idea what I’m talking about and why I’m excited about this but many of you who watched Victoria Wood’s sketch shows in the mid 1980s will remember the spoof soap opera, with its wobbly sets, clunky dialogue and missed cues, and you’ll be smiling as you read this. Not everyone realises that Victoria Wood turned Acorn Antiques into a stage musical in 2005 and although it had mixed reviews, it was a sell-out for its short duration. The production had its faults so was re-written for the touring production and it’s this revised script which is now available for amateur groups to perform.

I have the script in front of me and it’s so funny that all thoughts of dusting have gone clean out of my head. I now have to consider which part to audition for. Here are the main female characters:

 

Miss
Babs
The voluptuous, overwrought and lovelorn
owner of Acorn Antiques – haughty, affected and sexually repressed. Originally
played by Celia Imrie.
Character requirements: Playing age 40/50+
but could be played by a younger actress. Large amount of dialogue. Excellent
acting and comedy skills with a good strong singing voice. Good mover.
Vocal range: Alto to 2nd Sop.
Miss
Berta
Miss Babs ‘younger’ twin sister. In love
with Mr Clifford but pining for him as he has lost his memory and can’t
remember that they were engaged! Smilingly desperate! Originally played by
Sally Ann Triplett.
Character requirements: Playing age 30/40+.
Large amount of dialogue. Must have excellent singing voice and good comic
timing/acting and dancing skills.
Vocal range: Alto to 2nd Sop.
 Miss Bonnie
The assertive, ruthless owner of The Guilty Bean chain of coffee shops. Finds out she is the long lost sister triplet of Miss Babs and Miss Berta. A “super bitch” who comes good! Originally played by Josie Lawrence.
Character requirements: Playing age 30/40+. Large amount of dialogue. Good acting and singing/moving ability needed.
Vocal range: Strong Alto, ability to do Sop (falsetto).
Mrs
Overall
The cleaner of Acorn Antiques – revealed to
be the mother of Miss Babs, Miss Berta and Miss Bonnie. Suffers from varicose
veins and haemorrhoids but believes all problems can be solved by a nice cup of
tea, a macaroon and an anecdote. Originally played by Julie Walters.
Character requirements: Playing age 60+ but
can be cast using a much younger actress. Large amount of dialogue. A demanding
but rewarding challenge for an actress who has great comic timing and a strong
singing voice. Required to move well. Comic timing is paramount. Brummie
accent.
Vocal range: Alto to 2nd Sop (plus some
falsetto).
As in previous years, I tend to work quite hard before auditions and try out for a few roles. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes not, but I like to put the work in beforehand. You can never tell who will turn up on the  day so I find it best not to get my heart set on a particular character. But, so far, I rather fancy Miss Berta as she has a couple of good songs to sing, including a beautiful ballad, ‘Remind Him’. Miss Babs is a possible but I think there are others in the group who could do her better. But, funnily enough, I am really tempted by Mrs Overall. Wouldn’t it be great to play a really comic role for a change? So I’m going to give that one a go too. Which means serious work on my Birmingham accent. Mrs Overall’s lines are just magic but everyone associates them with the inimitable Julie Walters. I’m working on lines such as this:
“Ooh that coffee’s bitter. Maybe I should give up on your dad’s old pants and get a cafetiere.”
 
Mrs Overall has a rather splendid solo to sing: ‘Macaroons’ is exhausting just to listen to and singing in a Brummie accent whilst dancing with a stoop is no mean feat. Auditions are in January so I will let you all know in due course how I get on. And if I don’t get any of the main parts then I won’t be too disappointed as the chorus have plenty to keep them occupied, not least a tap dancing number.
In the meantime, to whet your appetite, here’s Mrs Overall’s song:
 

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18 Comments

  1. Sarah Reply
    17/12/2012 at 9:22 am

    I remember Acorn Antiques – it was hilarious. Good luck with the auditions, it will be great fun being part of this production.

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      17/12/2012 at 11:30 am

      I think it will really suit our company. I'm looking forward to rehearsals – that's assuming I get a part – fingers crossed!

  2. MsCaroline Reply
    17/12/2012 at 10:03 am

    I've never heard of it,but between your synopsis and that video, it looks like fun. I think Mrs. Overall sounds like the most fun to play as well!

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      17/12/2012 at 11:32 am

      Mrs O will be tough to do, particularly getting the accent right. But I'll keep working on it. What will be will be!

  3. Clare Taylor Reply
    17/12/2012 at 12:50 pm

    I LOVE that. And good luck with your audition x

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      17/12/2012 at 8:19 pm

      Thank you! It's an exciting prospect whatever I end up doing in the show.

  4. Expat mum Reply
    17/12/2012 at 2:01 pm

    OMG Trish – you have to go for Mrs. Overall. That was brilliant! What fun to perform that piece.

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      17/12/2012 at 8:20 pm

      I'll give it my best shot. Wouldn't it be wonderful to shout out the 'custard cream' line!

  5. Steve Reply
    17/12/2012 at 7:12 pm

    Oh joy. Surely any part at all is a win-win with writing of this calibre?

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      17/12/2012 at 8:21 pm

      I know, Victoria Wood is so brilliant. I honestly don't mind what I do – if someone else is better then that's best for the show. I'm just looking forward to rehearsals – should be a blast.

  6. BavarianSojourn Reply
    17/12/2012 at 8:19 pm

    Good luck, good luck, good luck! And, I am hoping you go for Mrs Overall too, she is just the funniest character! 🙂

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      17/12/2012 at 8:23 pm

      Thanks Emma ;-))

      I shall probably go for the lot – it's sometimes easier on the day to jump up and have a go for two or three and then the production team can see who would be good for which part.

  7. Very Bored in Catalunya Reply
    18/12/2012 at 11:47 am

    As soon as I started reading this I thought you just have to be mrs Overall. What ever happened to Josie Lawrence, I used to love her?

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      18/12/2012 at 12:45 pm

      I think she is still performing – theatre and some TV. She used to be great on Who's Line is it Anyway?

      Another thumbs up for Mrs Overall: will have to keep practising and hunt out me pinny.

  8. Curry Queen Reply
    18/12/2012 at 10:03 pm

    OMG, I LOVED Acorn Antiques and especially Mrs Overall. I think we should get a charabanc organised and come up and watch you perform!

  9. Trish Burgess Reply
    18/12/2012 at 10:25 pm

    Ha! Another fan! You do all realise I haven't auditioned yet and may not even get a part. Rest assured, as soon as I know then you can get the charabanc booked.

  10. Bass Pryce Reply
    19/12/2012 at 6:11 pm

    For a moment, I thought the glamour globe-trotting was taking a back seat to Mums gone to the ironing or Mums gone to do a cup of tea, or Mums gone to do the tidying up…. but then not…but then yes, as mums gone to the tidying up whilst singing and telling jokes.
    Multi tasking at its best.

    • Trish Burgess Reply
      19/12/2012 at 6:25 pm

      Well if I'm not going on holiday then I have to do something worth blogging about. Making a fool of myself seemed as good an idea as any. You should see me practising in the kitchen – I'm like a demon with a dishcloth whilst warbling at full volume.

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