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Home  >  Blog  >  A Blow-up doll and Arthritic Charades

A Blow-up doll and Arthritic Charades

Trish Burgess Posted on28/12/201007/04/2016 Lucky Dip 17 Comments

Before Christmas Dougie complained he was uncomfortable in the bath and that it would be nice to have a bath pillow. So I bought him Soapy Sophie, an Inflatable Bath Buddy. Isn’t she marvellous. In the description it said Sophie could hold your beer while you soak. I thought this sounded an excellent idea until Dougie blew her up and we looked at the result….

Soapy Sophie joined us for Christmas Day, along with Dougie’s parents, George and Emily. The inlaws are notorious for bizarre presents. Their only son asked for some ankle weights one year; on Christmas day they arrived with a small parcel, explaining that they couldn’t find the weights he was after so bought him some sport socks instead. Unfortunately they were white knee-length football socks….Chelsea socks, in fact, as the name was embroidered into them half-way up the shin. Great for a Hibernian supporter who doesn’t play football.

This year we gave them some suggestions as to what we might like and hoped it wouldn’t tax them too greatly. I was lucky and received some lovely Emma Bridgewater mugs but their poor son was given socks again, and a box of white hankies with a D embroidered on them…

Some of you will doubtless remember the annual round of charades which has become traditional after our Christmas Day meal. This is now fondly referred to as ‘Arthritic Charades’ on account of George’s inability to make it clear with his poor old fingers how many fingers he is holding up. We often shout “Three and a half!” and roll about laughing.

This year he was great value once again. Examining the card for some considerable time, he was about to start but then needed another look. We were on tenterhooks. A five-word song. He made a  T shape with his hands so we shouted out ‘the’, ‘they’, ‘them’, ‘this’ and all the variations we could think of until he told us it was ‘to’. On one word he held up six (ish) fingers so we shouted “six” and “sixth” but were getting nowhere until he explained he was showing us the number of letters in the word. No mime, nothing, just letters. “Bloody Hell, George, we’re not playing Hangman”, I said wearily.

We introduced him to the idea of syllables after he’d shouted “elbow” during one of my actions. He liked this and tried it on his own turn. Third word, two syllables. Then he just stood there, looked at us eagerly and eventually said, “Come on then, have a guess?”.
“Try giving us a bloody clue, Dad”, Dougie implored, head in hands.

It went downhill from here: I was given the film “Shaft” and got a little carried away then George was given “The Naked Civil Servant”. Thank God we guessed it before it all became rather unseemly.

Anyone for a mince pie?

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17 Comments

  1. Troy Reply
    28/12/2010 at 4:30 pm

    Sounds like you had a great time. I just managed a Christmas Day dip in the sea which was warmer than you might expect given our recent weather.

  2. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    28/12/2010 at 6:08 pm

    Troy – Blimey, that's brave or foolhardy? Hope you had a lovely Christmas with Mrs Troy and Troy Junior.

  3. libby Reply
    28/12/2010 at 7:06 pm

    Sophie looks…well…I'm not sure what to say……..
    Glad you all had a lovely time.

  4. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    28/12/2010 at 9:44 pm

    Libby – She's got a big smile, hasn't she. Not as big a one as my husband though…!

  5. Linda (Have a Lovely Time) Reply
    28/12/2010 at 11:23 pm

    I am wondering what fits snugly in Sophie's hand.
    Must get Neil one.
    Lovely to read about a fun Christmas.

  6. MadameSmokinGun Reply
    29/12/2010 at 2:28 am

    Your charades reminded me of my brother-in-law's post-dinner Xmas entertainment a couple of years ago with his in-laws. Sadly, his father-in-law really didn't have long to live, suffering from Motor Neurone Disease, and it was a poignant enough day as it was. So what did they do? Kareoke of course! And what song did the old boy choose? 'Let's have a bit of Frank!' 'Oh Grandad not OLD songs!' 'And now…… the end is near……' All apparently without any thought of his family's shattering emotions. It was just his favourite song! '….and as I face…..the final curtain….' 'Think there's some washing-up still to do' 'I'll get the logs in' 'No allow me!' 'I've only done one verse! Hang about! …and now… as tears subside… I find it all… so amusing …' … f o r… t h e… w h o l e… s o n g ……

  7. Steve Reply
    29/12/2010 at 8:07 am

    So Soapy Sophie's hand is designed to hold beer cans, right…? Hmm…

  8. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    29/12/2010 at 8:35 am

    Linda and Steve – the box said her hand should hold a beer can but you can see that's nonsense, it's obviously designed for….a bottle!

    Madame SG – My poor old Dad is sufferinf from Motor Neurone Disease and he would chuckle at this story. Will get the karaoke out when I'm next up and have a good old sing-a-long!

  9. Karla Telega Reply
    29/12/2010 at 9:31 am

    My poor husband just wanted a new toilet seat for Christmas. Everybody gave him summer sausage samplers. We're up to our necks in beef logs.

  10. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    29/12/2010 at 10:45 am

    Karla – maybe get the new toilet seat after he's disposed of all the logs?

  11. Wylye Girl Reply
    31/12/2010 at 5:06 pm

    Holy Crap Trish! She's some girl! Loved the Arthritic Charades. You're welcome at ours anytime for a quick game. I've launched my new blog so hope to see you over there some time. (The Blogger formerly known as Madame Marmite 🙂

  12. Being Me Reply
    01/01/2011 at 11:06 am

    Hello, I just stumbled over here from Steve (Bloggertropolis) and what a fun time I've been missing! Except…. my husband wondered what the blazers I was looking at when he saw Soapy Sophie. Dear oh dear. Thanks for the giggle! Mind if I come back for another read sometime?

  13. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    01/01/2011 at 12:01 pm

    Wylye Girl – So pleased you're back. Will come over soon. Put the kettle on!

    Being Me – You should have heard the laughs when husband eventually tried it out in the bath. This manic smiling woman peeping out from behind his head and her hand strategically positioned. It freaked him out.
    Please come back again soon: you'd be very welcome. Any friend of Steve is a friend of mine.

  14. sally Reply
    02/01/2011 at 12:49 pm

    Trish…do tell how you did "Shaft"?
    Am agog as it were.
    Peter got a blow up perfect wife…should we introduce her to Soapy?

  15. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    02/01/2011 at 2:34 pm

    Sally – How did I do Shaft? With a very red face!

    Soapy is looking forward to meeting the perfect wife: what has she got that our Sophie's hasn't?

  16. Kelloggsville Reply
    08/09/2011 at 8:07 pm

    I was on holiday when you posted this, it's had me in right old giggles tonight! three and a half! Brilliant

  17. Trish @ Mum's Gone To ... Reply
    09/09/2011 at 8:21 am

    @Kelloggsville – I rather enjoyed reading it again too. Christmas will be upon us again soon so we can have another session, good god!

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