“It’s a moderate walk and should take us an hour and a half,” Dougie announced to me, as I was happily scoffing toast and lounging about in our gorgeous holiday home, Shingle Lodge. I thought long and hard about this suggestion then realised it was a great opportunity to test out my new Tough Mudder shoes. This would be their first outing and what better than to tackle a coastal walk along the clifftops here in Dumfries & Galloway.
Armed with a map and written directions from the hotel, we set off on our walk from Knockinaam Lodge to the fishing village of Portpatrick. The first part of the trek was going to be the most strenuous. They weren’t kidding. The path began just behind our accommodation, but the steep ascent up to the relative plateau of the clifftop was a killer. I was tempted to just have a look at the view of the hotel and the Port of Spittal Bay then clamber back down but the boys insisted we should continue.
Rory was remarkably agile and strode on ahead with ease. This flummoxed me as his default position at home is horizontal on the bed or sofa. Had all those teenage years of indolence actually been an ingenious method of storing up energy reserves, to be unleashed on the rugged Galloway coastline?
As our mountain goat led the way through numerous styles and kissing gates, we fought bravely with gorse and bracken and Dougie wished he’d brought a machete with him, or at the very least, a kitchen knife, as the plants reached head height on the Craigoch Park Moor. At one point, as you’ll see in the image below, Dougie opted to be lead scout and it did make me laugh to see Bear Grylls, rucksack on his back, attacking the undergrowth with gusto whilst his son, Bear Grylls Junior, wearing totally inappropriate denim jacket and black jeans, sauntered behind, browsing nonchalantly through his phone.
The views across the sea to Northern Ireland were spectacular, and we managed a few uneasy glimpses down to the rocks below at Tandoo Point and Ratten Hole. We crossed a pretty footbridge across a fast-flowing stream, the Craigoch Burn, and just stood there for some time, basking in the sunshine and drinking in the beauty of the landscape.
Just as the ninety minute mark was up, we skirted round the ruins of Dunskey Castle and negotiated a number of steps down towards the delightful curved harbour of Portpatrick, looking so inviting in the midday sun.
Understandably euphoric after our journey, we made a beeline for the Crown Hotel. I placed my fingers around a very welcome glass of lager then tipped the whole lot into my lap. A few dabs with a thin napkin proved futile so I had to take myself off to the ladies’ loos and pray they had something more effective at drying my nether regions. I whisked my trousers off and wafted them under the hand dryer which was, mercifully, the most powerful machine I’d ever come across in a pub. Its strong air current, coupled with the moisture-wicking capabilities of my performance pants, made light work of the job.
I returned to our table, stain-free, with only the pervading whiff of old beer mat that surrounded me giving any hint of my embarrassing accident.
“There’s no time for another drink now,” said Dougie, as he and Rory licked their lips and made a move to go. “We’ve got to walk all the way back.”
“What!” I wailed. “Doesn’t Portpatrick have any taxis?…Uber?”
“What about if we get a bag of chips first?”
“Now you’re talking.”
What about lunch? I thought you were going to tuck into a delicious, hearty meal at the hotel to build up your strength for the return trek!
Nah! Chips from the chip van did the trick. Plus we had Dougie’s barbecue to look forward to once we got back. I might never have got back if I’d sat for too long!!
This made me laugh… The photo with Bear Grylls and Bear Grylls Junior especially, but your wafting your trousers about in the ladies loo even more so. It sounds like a gorgeous walk though! 🙂
It could only happen to us – we can’t seem to do anything outdoors without some drama!
Funny Trish! I am sure it would have been less so without that magical power dryer though. How were your legs the next day? #FarawayFiles
I was dreading those useless ones which leave you just as wet as when you started. Legs weren’t too bad the next day, thankfully. I must be getting fitter!
I love your style! Crisps all around! I too have a Bear Grylls junior – can completely relate. Love the reappearance of the pants! Thanks for the giggle and sharing with #FarawayFiles, Erin
It was actually a portion of British chips (French fries) from a chip van, which spurred me on for the return leg of the journey. I kept the grease well away from the performance pants 😉
This looks like a lovely walk. And love Bear Grylls junior’s style! #FarawayFiles
So chilled – but he didn’t moan once so we can forgive him his phone scrolling!
Now, those views are fantastic! They were worth all the effort. Now, I know you were not thinking about nice views when you were ascending the killer hill (it has happened to me). I have heard a lot of times ” This is a short hike” or “It only takes half an hour.” Then, it ends up being the hardest half an hour in a long time. When preparing for a hike, I like to see a topographic map if possible. In that way, I know what I am going to face (not sure if it helps though). #FarawayFiles
I know what you mean – you either have to really trust the guidance or have a decent map. Thankfully the info was spot on and we knew once the first bit was over, it would be flatter! Funny how the hour and a half coming back seemed to go much faster – probably because we knew what to expect.
Aw man, beer stinking pants – there’s nothing worse! Oh well, at least you got your chips. SOme friends were here last summer and they said how pretty it was so it was great to see your photo’s! #farawayflies
Beer and chips – can’t beat it. But beer in a glass would have been preferable! I can’t quite believe we felt the urge to return to Dumfries and Galloway so quickly after our first visit. Portpatrick is a lovely little town.