Starting to find we have a routine to our days so much so that I have no idea what day it is:
8.30am – start to get up. Hubby up first which is very unlike him as he normally hates getting up but somehow on holiday he’s a bit too lively, getting into the shower first and hassling me and the boy to get up too.
9am – son still won’t be raised from his slumber so resort to tipping the sofa bed up and threatening to fold it up with him still in it.
9.30am – amble over to breakfast and, despite having eaten a huge amount the day before, have to pack in as much as possible so we can avoid having to buy lunch! So cereal, scrambled eggs, funny sausages, croissants and odd little pastries are demolished.
10.15am – go back to the room for a lie down
11am – go for a walk. Hubby’s idea this! One morning this consists of a wander to the golf course. We don’t play golf, which is a shame as the course is beautiful, but we manage to find a few golf balls in the bushes near the driving range so we pocket them. The next morning we have a go on the driving range and each whack 50 balls into the bushes.
12.00- back to the lounge to help ourselves to another free coffee or fruit juice. Read the papers. Son plays games on the computer which has free internet access.
12.30pm – go back to the room and lie by the pool with a book. Son reluctant to come outside and enjoy the pool I have spent a fortune to get. Would rather sit inside and watch the TV where they are showing World Championship……..swimming!
1.30pm – feeling thirsty so back to the lounge for a cold drink again, swap book in the hotel’s library.
2pm – back to the room to sit on patio and vegetate again
3pm – my favourite part of the day. High tea! Free sandwiches and cakes to go with the coffee this time. Hubby tells me they are most definitely NOT free as I have paid an exorbitant amount of his money for the privilege of “free cake”. Feel a bit guilty so have a few smoked salmon sarnies, two slices of walnut cake, some chocolate fudge and a strawberry tart to make amends. 4pm – more lolling by the pool and, as water is like a warm bath, have a dip. Boys have their silly hour chucking balls about and leaping onto inflatable shark.
5pm – have a shower and slather on the after-sun. Try and decide what to wear for dinner. Most of the clothes I’ve brought go unworn but at least I have a choice.
6pm – Happy Hour! Slug down a couple of gins at the free bar (oops sorry, paid for already at extremely high price so let’s have a couple more)
7.30pm – stagger to dinner. Order water with meal as already inebriated and anyway don’t want to pay for alcohol, goodness me no. Gorge ourselves on too much food. As it’s one price for the buffet (and quite steep at that) feel obliged to have soup, starter, then try a bit of every main course and a sliver of every pud.
9pm – feel ill
9.15pm – go back to the lounge for coffee.
9.45 – wander back to the room. Maid has turned covers down (why do they do this?) and piece of card is on the pillow with the thought for the day…”Listen to your own heart for it will never lie to you”. Should really say listen to your belly as it will tell you to stop being such a glutton.