The new W London hotel has recently opened, the first UK branch of an American chain of uber-chic luxury hotels, but my eyes popped out like gobstoppers when I read that in their mini-bars, termed ‘munchie boxes’, they have included a nifty little sex toy. My immediate thought was that they might be a tad chilly but I reckon a quick blast of the hair dyer would probably warm them up.
Whenever we take our son to hotels he is under strict instructions not to buy movies and not to even think about touching the seven quid half-carton of Pringles or the four-finger KitKat. Imagine how we would deal with this place? Mind you, I understand the vibrator is waterproof so I suppose we could fling it in bath and tell him it’s a replacement for Froggy.
The reason I came across the hotel is that we have been pondering going to some of the Olympic events next summer and while husband is checking out the prices for the Women’s Beach Volleyball, I’m perusing the internet to get an idea about accommodation. It looks like there will be quite a number of new hotels popping up in the capital to cater for the influx, but my eye is certainly drawn to W London and not only for the munchie box. I love the fact that their rooms, rather than being called Standard, Deluxe, Junior suite and Suite, have names such as Spectacular, Fabulous, Wow and Extreme Wow.
I’m quite tempted to ring up and ask for a Wow room, with an interconnecting Spectacular, but if Rory so much as opens the door of his munchie box, I’ll be ringing down to Whatever/Whenever (their terminology for the front desk) and ask for the munchie box to be relocated….to the Wow next door.
May I just suggest to the W management that if they would like a review of their new hotel, I’m certainly up for the job and they can be assured I’ll give it a thorough and rigorous testing.
Update: The Extreme Wow room is actually called an E Wow room. I read it as extreme in another review but the website says E Wow. Maybe it’s an “EEEEH WOW” as that’s what a Geordie like me would say when she opens the door.
are you sure the "Spectacular, Fabulous, Wow and Extreme Wow" refers to the room and not the contents of the Munchie box??
nice post – *heads of the check out hotel!
I want to know what the Extreme Wow room contains, if you find out do tell……….
I'm now pondering how many beaches there are available in London for the Beach Volleyball tournament.
And do you get to keep the vibrator or does it go off to be washed with the towels and sheets?
Paula – You could be right! I'd definitely want a bit of wow then!
Fiona – I've just checked. It is in fact, called E-wow (I'd read extreme wow in a review) and has a four-person shower!
Nickie – Well I wondered that. I suspect you buy it and keep it as a souvenir, a bit like a fridge magnet.
Well they must do a Union Jack one, at least… Or in the shape of tourist attractions, maybe? Nelsons Column? The Fourth Plinth?
Nickie – ingenious!Quite fancy a ride on the Eye myself.
Oh and I checked the Beach Volleyball: it's being held in Horse Guards Parade.
interesting venue…
I wonder if it will clash with Changing of the Guard. OooohHHHHH Is the Queen refereeing?? *books ticket*
Sounds a brilliant idea. Love the vibrator in the fridge although a cold prod in the nether regions could be rather off-putting! I would hope they are new, I wouldn't want a used one even it had been autoclaved! Eww!
I'm sure that hotel will be a massive hit with single travelling females once they hear of the mini-fridge supply, although knowing how much these hotels charge for the contents of said fridge it would probably be cheaper to buy out half a sex shop in Soho!
Beach volley ball eh? Bet he takes his duct tape in case something needs strapping up…
Sarah – OH GOD, imagine getting a second-hand one! I would hope you would buy it then take it home: though I have a weird vision of a bunch of vibrators whizzing round an autoclave!
Very Bored – I wonder how much it would cost? If the Pringles are ÂŁ7 then the buzzies will require a mortgage!
I can't stop laughing at your final pithy comment, Wendy – you know my husband too well!
Eeeeh pet. Yid never get that in the Grand in Tynemouth!
LOL, you have to be kidding?! Not very hygienic though is it!!!!
CJ xx
Expat Mum – eeeh nooo, they would want their sachet of cocoa instead.
CJ – As everything else in the mini-bar has to be paid for, I'm quite sure this would be a new one, in its wrapper…..let's hope the batteries are included or people would be ringing room service for a couple of AAs.
Y'know vintage is everywhere nowadays…maybe the vibrator is not new but 'pre-loved'…..eeeeeeuuuughhh.
OK. Vibrators for the ladies. What do the men get? A copy of Playboy and a tissue? Or are they going to lay on a couple of call girls?
I read about that in the Sunday Times, I doubt I'd be able to claim that back on my expenses!
Wow! And that's marketing genius because the difference between wow and spectacular is no doubt an extra rubbish bin (Oh what a cynic I am) Love it! My husband always insists on eating the Pringles and nuts in the mini bar and it drives me crazy – I could get a pair of Pradas with what they cost after a weekend. Must be a throwback to our childhood(isn't it always?) when neither of us went to a single hotel…or motel.
… and is reception really called Whatever/Whenever? Sounds a bit 'Little Britain' to me, and I've stayed in plenty of hotels with that attitude to customer service.
Horseguards Parade? Is that one of the sporting 'guest spots' for next year? If they hold any events in my beloved Saaarf Lahndaan they could include Car Stripping, Speed Fight (staggered points system for initiation difficulty level ie looking at pint/girlfriend/self etc), Sideways Ponytail Whipping, Kebab Lobbing…… up in Nawf Lund'n they could do Instant Shoe Identification Shot, Parking Space Wrestling, Couscous Moulding Towerstack, Bad Smell Under One's Nose Endurance………
Divisive? Me?
Just thought of another Nawf Lund'n event: How Quick Can You Produce 2 Pollution-Sensitive Children Move To Brighton And Set Up A Business Selling Driftwood Mobiles…..
Any more good ol' British regional events we should introduce to the sporting world?
I'm so there! đ
I have lost count of the number of times I have forgotten to pack my vibrator so this is really going to be a god send. Well probably not actually from God, thinking serpent and all that but you know what I mean. I wonder whether they also include anusol because I tend to forget that asw…ahhh TMI..sorry…must dash
I now know where I will be staying next time I am in London… :o))))
@Libby – That's gross!
@Steve – You get to be in charge of the remote control (for the TV, of course!)
@auntigwen – Can you imagine haha!
@about last weekend – My husband is the complete opposite: being a Scotsman, he hyperventilates at the cost of mini-bar items and prefers to hoof it down to the local supermarket for provisions – takes the romance and fun right out of it!!
@TheDotterel – It's completely true and, you're right, said in the voice of a bored British youth, it is just so wrong.
@Madame SG – Oh I'm loving all these ideas. I think we'd be good at the Slow Tractor Race round our way. In my home town of Newcastle I think the White Stiletto 100m stagger is a dead cert.
@AModern Mother – Join the queue!
@kelloggsville – that's just put me right off my lunch!
@Funky Wellies – I just knew it would be ideal for youa and your Sexy Hubby.
Ha ha fab conversation. Wouldn't it be great if all domestic fridges came with similar extras: salad crisper, egg tray, dairy drawer, wine wrack, vibrator.
BM
x
@Bibsey Mama – I think you're onto something here. Make sure you bring vibrator to room temperature before use – just like eggs really. I think the toys available in the hotel may well be 'eggs' anyway, so they'd fit in that compartment.