Who’d have thought my talent for impersonating Cheryl Cole every Saturday night for my long-suffering family would reap dividends. During the endless weeks of X Factor, I blathered on to my family, “EEEEH ye just made it yer own, ye nailed that song. Ah just luv ye, Joe, yer like me little bruther”. It kept me amused anyway.
Today my skill has finally been recognised. I had a text message from a friend of mine who runs a local children’s theatre group. They are performing the youth version of Billy Elliot in February and are looking for someone to give the children accent coaching. I may not have lived in Newcastle since I trooped off to University in 1982 (bugger, that’s given my age away!) but it seems the years living down South have made very little impression on my Geordie accent. I suspect it’s due to daily telephone conversations with my mother.
The children of Lincolnshire are in need of my assistance so I have grabbed the opportunity to educate and inspire! Once I get the script there’ll be no stopping me: shall I set homework….watch Ant and Dec regularly, old episodes of The Likely Lads? Maybe get them to recite verbs…
Ah luv The Toon
Yoos luv The Toon
He luvs The Toon
We aal luv The Toon….you get the idea?
Of course, being the luvvie that I am doing my own theatre stuff (soon to be an old tart in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas), it won’t stop at accents: I’ll be singing all the songs, “EEEE…LEC…TRICIT…EEEE!” and stomping around the stage so the kids won’t get a look in. Maybe I could muscle in and take over as the Granny? I think she swears. I’d like that.