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Travel tales of an empty nester
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Trish Burgess Posted on06/02/201107/04/2016 Lucky Dip 30 Comments

My dad died early on Friday morning. He had been ill for many years with Motor Neurone Disease and looked very poorly at Christmas when his grandson, John, of the same name, was born on Christmas Day.

We knew he might not live much longer but it was still a shock to receive a phone call on Thursday tea-time to say he had deteriorated very quickly and may not last the night.

He died in St Oswald’s hospice in Newcastle where he had been a regular patient in their day centre every Wednesday. Their superb care was exceptional and my mum was able to be with him at the end, which thankfully was not as protracted as we’d feared.

Dougie, Rory and I drove up to Newcastle on Saturday. They have returned home this afternoon to go back to work and school tomorrow. I’m staying up with Mum for a bit longer to sort out funeral arrangements, though today we seem to have spent the day rummaging through old photos and reminiscing about a wonderful man.

I feel I can’t write much at the moment but will be back soon.

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30 Comments

  1. TheMadHouse Reply
    06/02/2011 at 8:44 pm

    Trish, you are in my thoughts and prayers. It is a terrible position to be in. If you ever been to chat let me know

  2. Expat mum Reply
    06/02/2011 at 9:11 pm

    Love to you all. I'm SO glad we all got together in the summer. He enjoyed that day a lot. A truly lovely, gentle man.
    xx

  3. notSupermum Reply
    06/02/2011 at 9:28 pm

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Such a sad time for your family, but I hope you can support one another. Take care xxx

  4. Tattie Weasle Reply
    06/02/2011 at 9:44 pm

    Trish I am so sorry to hear this and my thoughts are with you and your family this evening. Take greatest care and take it gently.

  5. Wylye Girl Reply
    06/02/2011 at 10:51 pm

    Oh Trish I am so, so sorry for your loss. You're in our thoughts and prayers xxx

  6. Very Bored in Catalunya Reply
    06/02/2011 at 11:13 pm

    So sorry for your loss. I'm here if you want anything. Big hugs. xx

  7. Nickie @ Typecast Reply
    07/02/2011 at 12:30 am

    So sorry. Thinking of you x

  8. susie @newdaynewlesson Reply
    07/02/2011 at 5:24 am

    I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling now.

    It sounds like you have wonderful memories. Hold onto those.

    Sending hugs and love.

  9. jfb57 Reply
    07/02/2011 at 5:49 am

    You are all in my prayers at this sad time. It was a blessing that he did not linger, both for him & your mum. It was lovely to read that you were all able to reminisce for a while. We'll be here when you are ready to return.x

  10. libby Reply
    07/02/2011 at 7:22 am

    Am lost for words so want to send a hug through the ether. Take care. x

  11. Steve Reply
    07/02/2011 at 8:09 am

    My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

  12. Troy Reply
    07/02/2011 at 8:47 am

    I can only echo all the sentiments expressed in the comments above and pass on my condolences from the Troy family.

  13. Sarah Reply
    07/02/2011 at 9:17 am

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. He has only died physically though; he'll live on in your memories and love for him.

    Thinking of you during this difficult time.

  14. Cara Reply
    07/02/2011 at 10:40 am

    So sorry to hear your news Trish. Take care of each other. Cara x

  15. JulieB Reply
    07/02/2011 at 4:10 pm

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

  16. muummmmeeeeee...... Reply
    07/02/2011 at 7:18 pm

    I'm so sorry Trish…just want to let you know I'm thinking of you x

  17. planb Reply
    07/02/2011 at 7:55 pm

    I am so sorry. Thinking of you, your mum and all your family x

  18. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    08/02/2011 at 6:36 pm

    Thank you to everyone for such lovely comments – they really do bring comfort.

    I came back on the train this afternoon, having helped Mum put things in place for the funeral. Leaving it for my brother and all my aunties to keep and eye on Mum now. Funeral is on Tuesday so another trip back up North after the weekend.

    Coping well and so is Mum – she is a very strong, capable lady.

  19. deerbabyalison Reply
    08/02/2011 at 7:52 pm

    Oh Trish – so, so sorry to hear this news. Thinking of you, your Mum and all your family. xx

  20. Sandy Calico Reply
    08/02/2011 at 10:37 pm

    I'm so sorry for your loss x

  21. MadameSmokinGun Reply
    09/02/2011 at 1:09 am

    That's such a blow to the stomach – even if you knew it might be coming – it's still the most awful thing to have to go through. So sorry for you and your family. Will you post up some stories about him if it's not too wrenching for you? I know sometimes you feel like you keep wanting to talk about your lost people but worry that those around you will be tired of hearing it – I promise I won't be.

    Hope you all get through the funeral OK. But it's often afterwards that the talking is so needed – when things just come into your mind or you see/hear stuff that reminds you. I still feel sad when I see/hear a film or a song or something the kids might do that I know my dad or my bruv would have loved. I hope that they get to pick up on the good stuff somehow anyway.

    Big love x

  22. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    09/02/2011 at 9:56 am

    Madame Sg – once things have settled I have a few ideas of posts about him. He did a lot of painting so I have been taking photos of all his artwork so I can pop them on here. I was also reminiscing with Mum about our family holidays – funny stories I'd like to share in the coming months.

  23. The Dotterel Reply
    09/02/2011 at 10:55 am

    I've only just read this, Trish, and I'm so sorry to hear the news. Thinking of you all.

  24. The Alexander Residence Reply
    09/02/2011 at 11:00 am

    Hello
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad your dad was able to be in a hospice and that you and your mum were with him. I found that hugely comforting too. Thanks for your lovely comment, You are right, it is comforting to know you are not the only person going through bereavement. I hve had lots of 'stop all the clocks' moments where I can't believe the world is still carrying on as normal, hearing that other people have loved and lost makes those easier to bear I think.
    Hope you get some rest, all the travelling on top of the grief is exhausting.
    Thinking of you and you family, keep in touch, will look out for your posts.
    Penny xx

  25. diney Reply
    09/02/2011 at 12:53 pm

    Trish – I've not been able to blog the last couple of weeks and have only just checked in with you. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've been where you are myself and know the deep pain of loss that no-one can possibly understand unless they have experienced it first hand. If you need a local friend whilst you are up here just e mail me and I will meet for a chat and a coffee if it helps. di.bindman@sky.com
    I understand that you may not have time nor the inclination, but I'm here xx

  26. Trish @ Mum's Gone to... Reply
    10/02/2011 at 1:36 pm

    Thank you again for all your messages of support.
    Diney – that's a lovely offer, thank you. It's always a bit manic with lots of relatives whenever we come back up North but your offer is very much appreciated and I may well at some stage take you up on it xx

  27. The Alexander Residence Reply
    11/02/2011 at 8:30 am

    Just read your comment at mine. People told me I would feel better after the funeral. I felt calmer and I realised how much tension I had been carrying. And take all the offers of help that come your way, and let non urgent things slide. Keep taking little rests, you need them xx

  28. Crystal Jigsaw Reply
    11/02/2011 at 7:23 pm

    You know where I am… Take care, my love.

    CJ xx

  29. MadameSmokinGun Reply
    12/02/2011 at 9:57 am

    Bananas – a life-saving easy-option slow-release food that requires no preparation or cooking. I think I lived off bananas for ages when Dad died. I think one of my friends just brought round a bunch of bananas rather than flowers one time. I remember a friend who's husband died a couple of years ago – she said very kind friends would bring casseroles round for her and the kids – and lovely as it was, they just wanted to eat fish fingers and onion rings – the familiar and non-thinking option. It seems the stomach needs a little rest from the sudden chaos too.

  30. CherishedByMe Reply
    13/02/2011 at 11:39 am

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you and your family. X

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