Last week I told you all about the town of Bland which was keen to join Dull and Boring to form a new triangle of tedium. It was a simple enough post, I could have made more effort with it, truth be told. But, in the comments, Kelloggsville gave the whole subject a lift by adding her thoughts about what a traditional fete would be like in the village of Dull.
“I bet fetes there are a blast. Watching the paint dry stand. Sort the straws into length order, hook a plastic bag, look at the coconut shy. The all-beige dress parade and the dirge band play for your sheer listening displeasure”
A day or two later former blogger and regular visitor, Troy, sent me the following email which I am sharing with you today. I’m quite delighted that a simple post can inspire others. I think I may become a ‘blog enabler’: I could just pop a few suggestions on the page and let you all run with it. This may be the way to go. Certainly when I’m on my hols I should just leave some prompts.
Right, I’m off to make myself a cuppa. Will leave you with Troy…..
Inspired by Trish’s blog about the Scottish town of
Dull and Kelloggsville’s summer fete descriptions, I thought readers might be
interested in my recollections of a visit to the town’s pantomime. To be fair to the good citizens of Dull, it
is a long time since I last visited Scotland.
My memories of the details are therefore a little hazy and in fact this
entire travel-log may indeed be a figment of my imagination.
Dull and Kelloggsville’s summer fete descriptions, I thought readers might be
interested in my recollections of a visit to the town’s pantomime. To be fair to the good citizens of Dull, it
is a long time since I last visited Scotland.
My memories of the details are therefore a little hazy and in fact this
entire travel-log may indeed be a figment of my imagination.
We arrived in the town out of season (ie. between
September and June) and we were disappointed to find that we had missed the
summer fete, so vividly described by Kelloggsville in a previous blog comment,
by several weeks. There was a lull in
the snow storm so we considered having a walk around the town during the break
in the weather but as it was still raining heavily we decided to look for some
indoor entertainment. It was then we
noticed that the matinee of the pantomime “Snow Grey And Her One Slightly
Smaller Than Average Friend” was due to start in 20 minutes. Given the title we were a little unsure
whether to get tickets or not but a passer-by told us that it was slightly
better than the previous year’s “Jack And The Japanese Knotweed”
production. Apparently it had taken them
six months to clear the theatre after that production.
September and June) and we were disappointed to find that we had missed the
summer fete, so vividly described by Kelloggsville in a previous blog comment,
by several weeks. There was a lull in
the snow storm so we considered having a walk around the town during the break
in the weather but as it was still raining heavily we decided to look for some
indoor entertainment. It was then we
noticed that the matinee of the pantomime “Snow Grey And Her One Slightly
Smaller Than Average Friend” was due to start in 20 minutes. Given the title we were a little unsure
whether to get tickets or not but a passer-by told us that it was slightly
better than the previous year’s “Jack And The Japanese Knotweed”
production. Apparently it had taken them
six months to clear the theatre after that production.
Our first surprise was to learn that the local
council had rated Snow Grey as “12A” so we had to put our young son with all
the other local children in the crèche next door. Having got him settled, we then hurried into
the pantomime just as it began. Our
first small criticism was the lack of scenery but that did not in any way
affect our enjoyment of the production. Typically there was the audience participation
– one character (not sure who due to lack of costumes) shouted out “He’s behind
you” and the audience, once they caught on, would respond “Oh yes, so he is!” The first time this happened it was very
helpful as from an audience perspective we couldn’t in fact easily see the
person due to his location (he was behind). I’m sure readers are familiar with pantomimes. At one stage a sweet was thrown into the
audience. It did in fact fall short and
dropped into the orchestra pit. Fortunately that was empty apart from the man
with the Stylophone. The highlight for
us was when they got a lot of very elderly people to join the cast on the stage
for a game. One old lady took 40 minutes
to get from the rear stalls to the stage but everyone seemed happy to wait for
her. They played an Incontinence Game
which was quite funny. In fact some
people actually wet themselves laughing but they were on stage not in the
audience. The only other disappointment
was that the “One Slightly Smaller Than Average Friend” was sick that day and
her understudy was also. However it didn’t detract from the scenes she was supposed to be in and I do think that
monologues are much under-rated in Britain.
council had rated Snow Grey as “12A” so we had to put our young son with all
the other local children in the crèche next door. Having got him settled, we then hurried into
the pantomime just as it began. Our
first small criticism was the lack of scenery but that did not in any way
affect our enjoyment of the production. Typically there was the audience participation
– one character (not sure who due to lack of costumes) shouted out “He’s behind
you” and the audience, once they caught on, would respond “Oh yes, so he is!” The first time this happened it was very
helpful as from an audience perspective we couldn’t in fact easily see the
person due to his location (he was behind). I’m sure readers are familiar with pantomimes. At one stage a sweet was thrown into the
audience. It did in fact fall short and
dropped into the orchestra pit. Fortunately that was empty apart from the man
with the Stylophone. The highlight for
us was when they got a lot of very elderly people to join the cast on the stage
for a game. One old lady took 40 minutes
to get from the rear stalls to the stage but everyone seemed happy to wait for
her. They played an Incontinence Game
which was quite funny. In fact some
people actually wet themselves laughing but they were on stage not in the
audience. The only other disappointment
was that the “One Slightly Smaller Than Average Friend” was sick that day and
her understudy was also. However it didn’t detract from the scenes she was supposed to be in and I do think that
monologues are much under-rated in Britain.
Afterwards we collected our young son from the
crèche. He had had a good time and after
we finally woke him up he spent a good half hour in the car telling us the
local nursery rhymes he had learnt. Ones
that come to mind even now include the one about Jack and Jill going up an arid
mound and return unscathed and the one about an old lady who lived in a shoe
and was unable to conceive.
crèche. He had had a good time and after
we finally woke him up he spent a good half hour in the car telling us the
local nursery rhymes he had learnt. Ones
that come to mind even now include the one about Jack and Jill going up an arid
mound and return unscathed and the one about an old lady who lived in a shoe
and was unable to conceive.
I would recommend a Dull visit to any of your
readers, either to enjoy the summer fete or an out of season visit when the
hotels drop their daily tariffs by 50p, if money is tight.
readers, either to enjoy the summer fete or an out of season visit when the
hotels drop their daily tariffs by 50p, if money is tight.
I feel the need to direct you to a map I drew a few years ago of the Village of Yawn (a joke with a few friends):
http://strictlyguiding.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/village-of-yawn.html
Ha, Jen, that's brilliant. How lovely of you to join in the Dull celebrations!
Thank you. My friends and I refer to anything boring as so Village of Yawn, it has spread to our kids too, so we felt the need to draw a map of the place we were always mentioning.
To Dull, Boring, Bland and the fictional Yawn!
Brilliant. Just brilliant. :o) xx
I'm thinking of retiring….
I wonder if there's a village called Ennui somewhere in France! It would be another candidate for twinning!
Ha! Oh I do hope so! X
…or a German town called Stumpf…
We're on a roll now…
Jody from About Last Weekend also left a comment on this post but I accidentally pressed 'delete' rather than 'publish'. Oops, sorry Jody. It said:
"Hilarious! Of course my kids think we are permanently living in Dullsville, with the yawns to prove it!~ "
Brilliant! I'm guessing this theme isn't quite dead yet and I look forward to the next chapter. 'Our Secret Sex life in Dull'. Want a starter for 10?
Trish always felt crocs made a foot look good on a preromp evening out. So the walk to the village hut for the 'how to trim a trimmed bonsai' talk was a comfortable start.
Off you go …..!
I'm not sure the residents of Dull would be interested in trimming their bushes, particularly in the village hut. However, if this is a pre-romp evening out, it might save me a bit of time…
The only sex education classes in the town took place in the over 60's sheltered housing lounge. Many wistfully felt that these lessons could have come earlier in life.
One of the hard-of-hearing elderly residents had actually travelled all the way to Niagara having misheard the doctor's recommendation to improve his sex life.
You're enjoying this, Troy, and I don't need to think of witty replies – marvellous!
And the book title "Dual carriageway with traffic calming measures to Dull", perhaps
Ooh we're looking at Dull transport issues now. This is very Boring and Bland. Excellent.
27.
27??
Give me another clue, Libby.
Maybe Libby meant 42? After all, it's the answer, isn't it? Hilarious post – particularly laughed at the Incontinence Game!
That did cross my mind too, CQ. Maybe the answer to everything in Dull is 27 because it's not quite as big and important a number as 42?