I’d always wanted an acoustic guitar. As a teenager I played my dad’s classical guitar for a few years, mainly strumming some chords and singing along to myself. I never really progressed beyond Streets of London, Leaving on a Jet Plane, Vincent (the starry, starry night song), Barbra Streisand’s Evergreen and the straightforward ones from the Beatles Songbook.
I chose songs with easy chords: Ds and As were good, E minor and D7 a joy. Anything involving holding down all the strings with one finger (there’s probably a word for that…googles it….barring, that’s it) I found really difficult. Classical guitars have a wide neck; an acoustic guitar would be slimmer but, with all metal strings, tougher on my fingers. I never did buy my own one. In the end I gave up on learning to play and persevered with my singing instead.
As parents, Dougie and I were keen to encourage Rory to learn a musical instrument but he was having none of it. I didn’t want to force it, though wistfully suggested that he had such lovely long fingers he would be marvellous playing the piano or the guitar. Nothing, Nada. That is, until he got the chance to own an old drum kit from my niece. Drums? That wasn’t what I had in mind at all.
That was a few years ago and, every Wednesday since then, Rory has religiously gone for lessons. He sees a wonderful old chap called Bernie who used to play in showbands. Rory says he’s a legend. I ask if he would like to have lessons at school where he could take exams in drumming. No way, says my son, I want to play for fun, for myself. So I shut up and let him learn the old-fashioned beats, the rhythms, the paradiddles and rolls. I can’t sing along. I suspect Rory is pleased about that.
Recently I walked past a music shop when I was shopping in Boston (Lincolnshire) and decided there and then to do something I should have done years ago. I bought myself a brand new, very shiny, acoustic guitar. I brought it home. I lovingly picked at the strings, found my old sheet music and began to play. Rory came into the room and said the new guitar was awesome. Could he have a try?
I haven’t seen it much since. In between revising for his GCSEs Rory picks up the guitar and experiments with the notes and chords. He skypes his friends who play guitar and they have started to teach him; pals are popping round to have a go, sometimes with the drum being played to accompany them. He has found instruction videos on the internet from which he is learning new tunes: Wonderwall by Oasis, Ivy and Gold by Bombay Bicycle Club, Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.
I think my new guitar has found a new owner. But I don’t mind. Not one little bit.
Brilliant! Now to ensure he makes real progress you need to forbid him from ever playing guitar again!
You've got this reverse psychology thing cracked, Macy. While I'm at it I think I should tell him not to revise either.
This sounds a lot like my boys – my plans didn't work, but they both found a way to enjoy music on their own terms. Both of them took up an instrument in elementary school (#1 the trumpet, #2, the cello) and had piano lessons (which they both loathed.) Both of them did not want to go on with formal lessons after about age 13. However, the older one taught himself to play both guitar and drums and now plays in a band, and the younger one can play a decent ukulele. They both enjoy singing, too, so I suppose all that time and money was well spent. Ultimately, I wanted them to have the joy of making music in some form or another, and they both do. Sounds like you need to go buy yourself another guitar! ; )
I do wonder whether I should have pushed a bit harder when he was younger: maybe told him to pick an instrument and try for a while. Although your boys gave up on the trumpet and cello, the grounding in the basics must have been such a benefit when they later chose their own.
That's lovely and is quite poignant to me. My boy has been attending music lessons for the past year and my and t'husband have differing opinions as to whether he should continue – as yet they've only been learning about notes etc and learning a few songs, but he has recently had a go on some instruments – saxophone, trumpet and yes, the dreaded drums.
For reasons I won't discuss here there is a strong likelihood that he'll find the physical act of playing most instruments difficult if not impossible, which is why OH thinks we should stop now before it becomes an issue for him. Part of me really wants him to continue, just in case… because I would love to be able to play an instrument.
Much thinking to do over the summer.
Knowing what I know now, I think even a short time of learning about music in any capacity, even if they don't go on to play those instruments in the long run, is a good thing – they learn about rhythm, patterns and it can also be fun. I obviously don't know what the situation is with your son, so wouldn't like to intrude, but kids try many things in their early years, many of them they give up for one reason or another. So maybe just wait and see?
how fun..hope he sticks with it!!
my daughter bought a guitar and was happily taking lessons..now I se it sitting in the corner when we visit and she doesn't even mention it anymore..
I hope he does too. I shall watch with interest and then tactfully suggest proper lessons; let's hope that doesn't push him the other way.
I discovered to my cost that unless you pay for lessons there is no real point paying for a guitar… trying to teach myself was a waste of time. I needed someone to drive me. Plus I was just inept. When you feel discouraged you need someone in the know to encourage you.
I think this is very true. I did have lessons for a year or two when I was younger but must have given them up; maybe they weren't that inspiring. I should have tried to find someone else. When Rory got his drum kit we realised he would have no hope without some instruction: his teacher has been fantastic and, out of all the things Rory has tried (cadets, volleyball, drama) he has stuck with the drums!
How wonderful, you must be so glad. Both of my kids were 'interested' in learning the guitar……we bought one and after a few months it was abandoned by both of them…it now sits gathering dust. I am firmly of the opinion that sporty families or musical families have a special gene that is passed on down through the generations and the passion for the sport or music will come out eventually. We are a family of 'still trying to find out what it is we have a talent for'…
Not being musical, I think Dougie hoped his son would be sporty and that hasn't happened! I didn't think he was musical either until the last few years when he's become quite good on the drums. Let's hope the guitar doesn't gather dust; I will be nabbing it while he's at school anyway!
I'm glad that Rory has found his own path to music. It's true you cannot force them, or you can but it will get you nowhere.
My eldest had violin lessons until the age of 11 when he decided it was not cool, so he wanted to play the electric guitar instead. Unfortunately his teacher was not inspiring at all and my son was put right off the guitar. He still has it though and I'm hoping he'll go back to it some time.
My youngest didn't even like 'eveil musical' for tots and has been resolutely determined ever since to have nothing to do with musical instruments. I sometimes catch him singing but he'll only do it in private.
And there was me hoping to have a violinist and a cellist in the family so we could play trios (with me on viola). Ha!
'Eveil musical' for tots? Sounded a bit scary to me, so I looked it up and, of course, it's not 🙂
Interesting that you being able to play the viola (I didn't know that)can only do so much to encourage your boys too. How frustrating children don't do as we want them to!
I was amazed what was out there on the internet in the way of tutorials. Maybe that will help your son to get the spark back. Certainly Rory, a lover of all things online, has found inspiration there.
I played piano briefly as a child and my husband the guitar, again for a short while. Then we stopped and it wasn't until we retired that I bought him a guitar and me a piano and it's been wonderful We kick ourselves for not starting sooner and for not having taught our daughter, but it's never too late.
Buy yourself another guitar because obviously the first one is gone, and keep going.
That's so lovely to hear about your renewed interest in music. Those of us who don't keep up with a musical instrument do tend to regret it, and yet it's hard to tell youngsters what they are missing by not learning to play.
I think I will borrow my guitar back when Rory is at school and see how it goes. I'm still playing a bit of reverse psychology by 'complaining' that he's stolen it from me. I want to be sure he will stick with it and offer to arrange lessons too. But I will certainly not let my own interest lapse again, Janet.
We have 3 guitars in the corner,we all play 'a little bit'. I'm the worst. I was sorry when daughter stopped playing. Well one to Rory.
I probably shouldn't be celebrating too early until I see how long the interest lasts. But I'm hopeful.
The Man-Child has about three different guitars standing around his bedroom, plus two amps and a mike! First thing he does when he gets home from school is go straight up there and sing his head off! Hilarious.
The Queenager has missed playing violin since she left high school so we have just bought our very own violin. The Man-child can also play so I"m hoping he'll start fiddling (literally) again.
And the Little Guy is just loving his piano lessons. It's great having musicians in the house.
(I did either Grade 5 or 8 on the recorder, but for some reason, it doesn't really count!)
Of couse, I've seen your FB clips of the man-child. He's a dedicated rocker, that boy! Great to hear that his siblings are similarly talented and interested.
Didn't know you progressed on the recorder – I remember our whole class murdering some song on the recorder, in fact I know what it was – Little Puss!!
Oh this is wonderful! I love hearing things like this. I have never been able to pick up a guitar and play it, even though music is in my veins. You have given me some incentive…. We gave our daughter a guitar for Christmas and she walks around strumming it (tunelessly, but with good rhythm and plenty of style!) but refuses to be taught anything properly for now. She is 6. There is time.
Wow, I hope the passive-reverse-psychology continues to do the trick!
Ooops, sorry, Trish – my old, old Blogger login….. "Simpsonslover" is me 🙂
I'm glad you told me…I was perusing your old site for a good few minutes!!
Yes, never too late. I really hope I stick at it this time. I'm probably the last person to help with regard to encouraging your daughter to have lessons: I didn't have any influence on my own son…..until now! But you're right, it's early days and you probably think, like me, that you don't want to get all serious and put her off altogether.
Great post! Love your tactic there Mrs! Hops off out to buy a violin… 🙂
Someone said to me a while ago that rather than say to Rory, 'would you like to learn an instrument?' (answer..no) I should have said 'which instrument would you like to learn?' so that he has a choice but it isn't yes or no. More psychology!!
Once upon a time, I played the piano, and I now very much regret not having persevered (although it is never too late, is it?). I hope Rory will have lots of fun with your guitar, are you going to buy a new one for yourself?
Funny how many of us have given up a musical instrument and how we all regret it. Wish we could tell our younger selves to keep at it!
Not buying another one yet. Will see how it goes with Rory – and I will keep pinching it back!
That is awesome that he now plays the guitar! I used to play when much younger in the ShowBand, a dorky school band. As you might remember our piano teacher recently fired us, so there is not much hope of my kids ever playing anything…And yes – are you getting another guitar for yourself?
Oh yes, you all got fired! Still makes me chuckle. Surely there's another teacher out there willing to take your children on?!!
That's brilliant – the best way to play an instrument is from the love of it. Maybe we'll see him on MTV in years to come!
We'll see! I have always been pleased to see him stick with the drums as they aren't easy at all. He has special drum music I can't make head nor tail of. Hoping the guitar isn't just a flash in the pan but it's looking good so far.