As I sit here typing, our old kitchen is being demolished. I can hear the chap downstairs chipping away at old tiles, unscrewing units from the walls and smashing the brick island into rubble. Most of our downstairs rooms are open plan so we have concocted a curtain to screen off the kitchen from the hall. The words ‘wind’ and ‘pissing in’ spring to mind.
We narrowly avoided divorce proceedings over the last two weekends, trying to clear out kitchen cupboards. We had a method of sorting into ‘keep’, ‘charity’, ‘recycling’ and ‘Newcastle’ piles but each time we emptied a cupboard, it necessitated finding space somewhere else in the garage, shed or house to store the clutter. This explains why Dougie fell out of the loft last weekend.
The Newcastle pile is an interesting one. Mum and a selection of aunties and cousins have shown interest in some soup bowls, serving dishes, numerous tea sets and three sets of curtains. I’m sure they have quite enough of their own chintzy crud already so I’m tempted to say this is an excellent example of taking coals to Newcastle.
We have decided to keep the Simpsons’ donut-maker (used once) and the ice-cream machine (twice) but have dispensed with the pasta maker (in reality a tiny mangle) and Le Saucier (the electric equivalent of a wooden spoon). The unused electric fondue set has had a temporary reprieve in that it has moved to the shed, which inevitably means it will eventually be thrown away in about five years time. It has joined the fish kettle and the microwave plate heater on kitchenware death row.
We have enough mugs to supply coffee for a national meeting of the W.I. so have sensibly decided to temporarily keep all the novelty ones (those which came with an Easter egg) to serve teas and coffees to the ‘men’ as they work. We will then do a bit of a Zorba to celebrate when it’s all finished.
The pantry was an embarrassment. Out-of-date lentils, Jamaican ginger cake and some fusty infused oils were summarily dispatched to the bin, along with a ton of fruity tea-bags and a few old bottles of unidentifed liqueurs which we might have slurped if we could have removed the tops.
As the kitchen is now out of action we have set up a catering area in the ‘posh room’. I’m rather proud of the fact that we have a coffee station and a buffet table complete with microwave. I’m thinking of turning it into a bijou B&B by having a basket of pastries, mini pots of jam and bowls of sliced fruit.
The novelty is bound to wear off.
Fab, I don't what I'm more jealous of, a new kitchen or the Jamacian ginger cake.
I love the coals to Newcastle bit. What is it about Northerners and Tat!
Can not wait to see the new kitchen
@Very Bored – you can have the cake: it's only a few months out!
@The Mad House – My lot love rummaging through boxes and bags when someone has had a 'chucky-out' session.
I have done a video of the old kitchen but will put it on the blog when the new one is finished so you can see a before and after.
Good luck. May the transition and installation of a new kitchen be quick and painless. But mostly quick.
Lentils go off? Never, surely it's a best before, not a used by and let's face it lentils are crudy whether before or after a 'by' date.
My kitchen cuboards are full of stuff I use maybe once a year but each time I do a cull, I regret it at that 'haven't I got a …' moment 🙂
@Steve – As long as the dust doesn't go into all my nooks and crannies I think I'll cope.
@Kelloggsville – you're right. Why did I even look at the date on the lentils. Maybe I needed an excuse for chucking them, especially as they'd spilled all over the shelf. I threw away all my vanilla essence and cochineal bottles too: they probably last forever but it was easier to throw out rather than find a home for them!
Interesting that you put charity before Newcastle!
Its a great idea to do a before and after video – in the same way as they do it on the "Homes Under The Hammer" TV programme. Look forward to seeing it on your blog.
@Troy – Yes, I even put recycling before Newcastle.
Absolutely, that's just what I was thinking. They do that '60 Minute Makeover' show too: I think ours will be nearer 60 days but all the better for it.
A new kitchen and a handsome Scottish hubby – some folk are just plain lucky!Good Luck for an easy transition. My Mother believes they really do that makeover in 60 minutes!Yeah, right!
@Nana – I know, I know, God has been smiling down on me! Though doing the washing up in a plastic bowl in the bath tonight I had to keep thinking positive. It reminded me of camping and I came over all peculiar.
I admire you for living through the mess. We have done two massive rehabs in the last 20 years, but the scale was such that we couldn't live in the house at the same time. Thank God.
@Expat Mum – Why didn't I think of that? I may just have to be a martyr: I'll be good at that.
You sound really chipper for someone going through the 'having work done' time…good on you. We have an awful lot of tat here too…..dreading ever moving…and yes we have a jamaican ginger cake….doesn't everyone?
@Libby – It doesn't seem quite so much fun this morning. Taking the dishes upstairs to wash up and having no washing machine plumbed in is a pain. But having less tat is a bonus!
See, I keep telling myself that the upside of moving countries every few years is less tat, but with 2 kids, it doesn't seem to work… When will it all be finished? At least you can fire up the BBQ now the weather is warmer. PS Dad was at Emma from 61 to 64 (I think) – Derek Harris.
@Kate – It will probably take four or five weeks in all! And yes, plenty of barbecues I reckon.
Dad was at Emma from 54 to 57 so a different era. Nice for me to know there's a link though.
You wonder who thinks up all these gadgets. I've no idea what a microwave plate heater might be. Well, unless its something that heats the plate before you put it in the microwave, but why…
Hope the work goes to schedule…
@Sarah – I think the idea is you put the heater in the microwave then put it on the table so that you can put plates of food on it to keep warm. Actually I'm not entirely sure: I never read the instructions!
Loving the coals to newcastle! Great to have a good old chuck out isn't it? Also many out of date lentils in our house and I'm sure I haven't eaten lentils since the Eighties. Yes, Kevin and I have differering view on chucking out- he seems to think that keeping old economics books are vital (they have reviews like"it's a sizzler"). We also have the donut make once used, maybe i could curl my hair with it!
Reminded me of my move two years ago… Unbelievable what you find in your cupboards! I love the B&B idea and hope you will post a photo of the new kitchen!!