Who’d have thought my talent for impersonating Cheryl Cole every Saturday night for my long-suffering family would reap dividends. During the endless weeks of X Factor, I blathered on to my family, “EEEEH ye just made it yer own, ye nailed that song. Ah just luv ye, Joe, yer like me little bruther”. It kept me amused anyway.
Today my skill has finally been recognised. I had a text message from a friend of mine who runs a local children’s theatre group. They are performing the youth version of Billy Elliot in February and are looking for someone to give the children accent coaching. I may not have lived in Newcastle since I trooped off to University in 1982 (bugger, that’s given my age away!) but it seems the years living down South have made very little impression on my Geordie accent. I suspect it’s due to daily telephone conversations with my mother.
The children of Lincolnshire are in need of my assistance so I have grabbed the opportunity to educate and inspire! Once I get the script there’ll be no stopping me: shall I set homework….watch Ant and Dec regularly, old episodes of The Likely Lads? Maybe get them to recite verbs…
Ah luv The Toon
Yoos luv The Toon
He luvs The Toon
We aal luv The Toon….you get the idea?
Of course, being the luvvie that I am doing my own theatre stuff (soon to be an old tart in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas), it won’t stop at accents: I’ll be singing all the songs, “EEEE…LEC…TRICIT…EEEE!” and stomping around the stage so the kids won’t get a look in. Maybe I could muscle in and take over as the Granny? I think she swears. I’d like that.
Southern nancy that I am, when I first went up to Newcastle Uni in 1987 (yep, that's blown my age cover, too), I swear I couldn't understand a word anyone said. This was is in the days before Byker Grove, you understand, so I hadn't heard much Geordie on TV. 'Divvn't knaa', 'smerk tabs'…??? Well done for keeping your lovely accent – my husband (Northern Irish) has almost lost his after 14 years over here. There's a risk we'll all be speaking Homogenised Estuary English unless people take a stand!
Eeh pet a bet ya dee a grand job if ya need any help just giz a buzz am aalways here tara hinny .xxx Mam
"smerk tabs" – priceless, I can hear it now!
My Geordie accent has been altered by living with my husband, a Scot, for over 20 years. A lot of people think I am Scottish like him, or Welsh (the lilting pattern of my voice maybe?) but it certainly isn't difficult for me to lay it on thick for the sake of the theatre darling!
HAHA!! EEEEH MAM!! That's bliddy greyt! Ah'll gie yer a bell when am needin yor help.
Yor lovin dorter xxx
Noo divvent gaa'an torn aaall mewsical an actressy eeetha. Swearin granneez all well an good pet, but ya bairn dizzint need ta see ya comin ower aaall Bonnie Langfad, duzzee?
Gerran auld cassette of the Little Waster, Bobbie Thompson faw ya Lincolnsha bairns, that'll lorn 'em.
xx
Aah that was a reet guddin. Aave alwaays fancied being a speaker like. ya naa worra mean like. somethin wi culcher.
Think aal be an acta wee the Picture hoose doon the road. Or like a shootin oot the numbers for the bingo like
love yah blog like.
xx
E – you're a natural, but you've got my mother on a roll now so there'll be no stopping her.
You're right, my poor bairn is suffering from my background of Bonnie and Bobby: he doesn't stand a chance does he, with that combination?
Eeweh, hov yer acthully HORD of Little Bobby?
I will pay for your son's therapy if so – please don't make him listen to it – it's how I ended up like this…
Alas I have HORD of Little Bobby – incessantly. My mum was a singer and was on the same bill as him at Newcastle City Hall! I must have that same cassette as you somewhere, though as yet my son hasn't been indoctrinated: it's enough for him having me and my mother to lead him astray.
Love the post, particularly about the verbs. Am going through reflexive French verbs with my son at the moment – wonder how that would translate to Geordie?!
Welcome, Footballers Knees!
Aah caal meesel'…
Yoos caal yersel'…
We aal caal oorsels …
I think that works perfectly well. Your son will appreciate the input I'm sure.
After living in Northumberland for nearly 9 years, I don't think it would be possible to lose the accent. And why would you want to, it's a fantastic accent!
CJ xx
Oh my god, I really thought that was a bad dream from the past. Your Mam is a legend.
We MUST have that drink…
CJ – my poor accent is a strange mix now but will never leave me!( love your photo on your recent post, by the way)
E – yes, she is. She has many tales to tell.
The bar is open here: shall I get the vodka so we can share a glass across the cyber-waves?
My sister wants to know if you know Cushie Butterfield. Personally, I thought you'd be insulted by that, given your legendmam status.
Top me up and I'll sing you 'keep your feet still geordie hinnie'..
"She's a big lass and a bonny lass and she likes hor beer…."
Cushie and I know each other very well.
Cheers!