Last week I told you all about the town of Bland which was keen to join Dull and Boring to form a new triangle of tedium. It was a simple enough post, I could have made more effort with it, truth be told. But, in the comments, Kelloggsville gave the whole subject a lift by adding her thoughts about what a traditional fete would be like in the village of Dull.
“I bet fetes there are a blast. Watching the paint dry stand. Sort the straws into length order, hook a plastic bag, look at the coconut shy. The all-beige dress parade and the dirge band play for your sheer listening displeasure”
Dull and Kelloggsville’s summer fete descriptions, I thought readers might be
interested in my recollections of a visit to the town’s pantomime. To be fair to the good citizens of Dull, it
is a long time since I last visited Scotland.
My memories of the details are therefore a little hazy and in fact this
entire travel-log may indeed be a figment of my imagination.
September and June) and we were disappointed to find that we had missed the
summer fete, so vividly described by Kelloggsville in a previous blog comment,
by several weeks. There was a lull in
the snow storm so we considered having a walk around the town during the break
in the weather but as it was still raining heavily we decided to look for some
indoor entertainment. It was then we
noticed that the matinee of the pantomime “Snow Grey And Her One Slightly
Smaller Than Average Friend” was due to start in 20 minutes. Given the title we were a little unsure
whether to get tickets or not but a passer-by told us that it was slightly
better than the previous year’s “Jack And The Japanese Knotweed”
production. Apparently it had taken them
six months to clear the theatre after that production.
council had rated Snow Grey as “12A” so we had to put our young son with all
the other local children in the crèche next door. Having got him settled, we then hurried into
the pantomime just as it began. Our
first small criticism was the lack of scenery but that did not in any way
affect our enjoyment of the production. Typically there was the audience participation
– one character (not sure who due to lack of costumes) shouted out “He’s behind
you” and the audience, once they caught on, would respond “Oh yes, so he is!” The first time this happened it was very
helpful as from an audience perspective we couldn’t in fact easily see the
person due to his location (he was behind). I’m sure readers are familiar with pantomimes. At one stage a sweet was thrown into the
audience. It did in fact fall short and
dropped into the orchestra pit. Fortunately that was empty apart from the man
with the Stylophone. The highlight for
us was when they got a lot of very elderly people to join the cast on the stage
for a game. One old lady took 40 minutes
to get from the rear stalls to the stage but everyone seemed happy to wait for
her. They played an Incontinence Game
which was quite funny. In fact some
people actually wet themselves laughing but they were on stage not in the
audience. The only other disappointment
was that the “One Slightly Smaller Than Average Friend” was sick that day and
her understudy was also. However it didn’t detract from the scenes she was supposed to be in and I do think that
monologues are much under-rated in Britain.
crèche. He had had a good time and after
we finally woke him up he spent a good half hour in the car telling us the
local nursery rhymes he had learnt. Ones
that come to mind even now include the one about Jack and Jill going up an arid
mound and return unscathed and the one about an old lady who lived in a shoe
and was unable to conceive.
readers, either to enjoy the summer fete or an out of season visit when the
hotels drop their daily tariffs by 50p, if money is tight.