This weekend I have been mostly washing clothes, putting them on the line then running outside to rescue them from the downpour which has appeared out of the ether. I am ironing, folding and stacking. Woe betide anyone who wears anything this week that’s just been laundered and then wafts it in my face on Friday declaring it needs washing again because they can’t survive two weeks without it.
Yes, we are off on holiday on Saturday, on a let’s-pretend-we’re-camping-but-not-really-as-it’s-a-static-caravan-with-all-mod-cons fortnight. Our Keycamp break was booked long before we were offered a freebie stay with Eurocamp so I do feel a sense of deja vu. However I am now very well prepared. I know, with some sadness, that I will have no need for high heels and smart frocks but, with a whole SUV available at my disposal and no luggage weight limits to restrict me, I am constantly sneaking in extra unnecessary clothing just in case. Just in case? Well, just in case we decide after a few days to transfer to a local chateau which has been lovingly restored into a 5 star bijou boutique hotel…..
Oh was I dreaming? Silly me. Where was I? Packing. We’ve decided to make things as comfortable as possible so, along with our own pillows and duvets, we are even packing mattress protectors. If I’m sleeping for 14 nights on a cheap bed, without the luxury of our astronaut-tested memory foam mattress, I am determined to make it as near to an at-home experience as possible, me being such a Princess/Pea kind of girl. Must also find a cotton throw to artfully drape over the sofa which, if it’s anything like the one we sat on in June, was made of a wipe-clean material: practical but not aesthetically pleasing or comfortable on sunburnt limbs.
Dougie is doing his usual. Organising to an inch of his life. You should see his first aid kit. I know, he’s a doctor so it goes with the territory but it’s really rather fascinating to see what’s in his click n’ lock plastic boxes: if I’m struck down with a headache with associated rash, sneezing and alternating diarrhoea and constipation then I’m in safe hands.
Husband is also a “packer”. I will plonk a pile of seemingly folded garments in the spare room and they will be re-folded ‘properly’ and tucked into the tiniest of spaces in the case (for ‘case’, read: huge zippy tough bag). One year my stack of undies was re-packed that many times to fit into just the right gap that unfortunately it was accidently left out altogether (‘was this a ploy?’ I asked myself before having to go commando until the shops opened).
He has already sorted the car, checked the tyres, oil and screen wash. Apparently I don’t use much screen wash which baffles him as he is a constant squirter…(“How on earth do you see through the window, woman?” )It seems to have escaped his notice that I will be driving the car all this week so he will probably have to check it all again before we leave.
Meanwhile I’m reading guide books. I immerse myself in the culture of our destination, well aware that having a sporty husband who will want to leap about on knackered knees playing volleyball and a lazy teenage son who will be unable to surface before midday, will limit our time for exploration. Who needs prehistoric etchings in spooky caves when you can win medals and sugary cocktails playing crazy golf?
I have to remember that this Summer we chose a ‘camping’ holiday to provide some teenage fun for our son. We have paid up front for 10 days limitless PGL activity (abseiling, archery and zip wires) which was a total waste of money as I know he will just want to find some like-minded fringe-flipping loafers to mooch about with while eyeing up the French totty.
We have also decided, en famille, to go without laptops for the holiday. Both my son and I are glued to them at present and it’s driving Dougie insane. So we will do without. On our Eurocamp holiday, after a day or two, the cold turkey approach seemed to work and we adjusted well to a life without Twitter and Facebook. Mindful of the fact that Rory was struck dumb by the absence of a TV in the mobile home when normally on holiday he is happily watching the Italian version of Deal or No Deal within five minutes of sticking the keycard in the door, I have managed to find a space for the portabe DVD player and a stack of comedy DVDs – a good dose of Ross Noble will keep us all cheery.
I’m not going to blog. I will do what I used to do: write my observations in a book, with a pen, then type them up on our return. I will sit on the decking, with a glass of vin rouge, or rose, or blanc and let the boys do their thing. We will re-group at meal times when I will be on salad duties, husband will baste and poke the meat and the coals, and Number One Son will turn up when all the work is done, eager to be fed.
Bring it on!
God, I have a husband who is totally anal about the packing too (I know you didn't actually SAY that, but I'm reading between the lines here…). Drives me crazy…
@Potty Mummy – oh yes, anal is exactly right. I'm sure I've used the word on other posts. He's even like it in supermarkets and can't cope if the local Scout contingent are there packing the bags.
My god you pair are very organised. I pack about half an hour before leaving and t'husband will randomly chuck stuff at me to include.
Hope you have a fab time, look forward to hearing all about it on your return. xx
No laptops? No wi-fi? No technology or gadgetry!
Aaah! I'm going cold turkey on your behalf!
Ooh I love folding….and I'm not at all jealous of you going on holiday. not. at. all….have a great time.
ps.once in France we stupidly took our young teen son on a 'cultural' guided chateau tour…big mistake..BIG mistake….but you sound like you have the whole thing in the bag (literally)…enjoy!
I'm the same with holiday packing! There is a list, then the washing, then the ironing, then the folding so carefully so it doesn't look like a rag when we get there! I need a holiday by the time I get to that point! Have a fab time! Will miss you!
@V Bored – I should really start later then would spend less time faffing about. I'm a ditherer.
@Steve – I know, it's scary! I will have my mobile phone but only for texting.
@Libby – it used to be far easier when he was younger as we could trail him around anywhere. Will heed your warning re chateau tour!
@jfb57 – do you tidy the house before you go too? I need to have an empty linen basket!
Having just endured camping out on the school field this weekend (in aid of the PTA, not some sort of protest), a static caravan sounds heavenly. Have a great time, can't wait to hear about it. x
Interesting re packing. In this house he has no interest in the contents of the suitcases… it's the 3D tetris that loading them into the car involves that fascinates. I am not allowed to put ANYTHING in the car (or indeed take it out, other than in the most dire emergency). Which is all very well, but means that I have to decide in advance precisely what I'm going to need at any point in the journey, lest I require something that has been buried in an archaeological fashion….
Men….
ps pass this one on to the man in your life… he'll enjoy it!
@NWBI – I intend to bore you all rigid!
@Plan B – Yup, we have the boot logistics game too and, like your, I daren't ask for anything from it so have a big handbag.
I had no idea what your link was about so showed it to hubby who, as you predicted, thought it very funny. (Anyone else reading this, Plan B and my husband have both finished reading the Steig Larsson trilogy)
Yes we have clinical coiled-spring rectum tightus car packing. I keep well out of the way – making sure we all have our own 'car' bags for personal control issues. And then, a couple of days in he'll say 'I only brought one t-shirt". I don't ask about pants.
hah! we were Eurocamp in Pays Basque and yes we are you but in reverse – otherwise everything else is SNAP!