I’m living a life in musicals at the moment. As all of you must know by now, as I’ve gone on about it frequently enough, I’m rehearsing for a local production of The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas. We only have one week to go before opening night so I’m living and breathing the bloody show on a continual loop.
Yesterday we had a rehearsal from 10am to 4pm: two hours of singing in the morning followed by a complete run through, with costumes, in the afternoon. I came home spent. It’s hard work being a hooker. The high-heeled F**k Me boots are fastened with big press-studs so I’m bent double trying to do them up. Suspenders and stockings are fiddly, particularly when the costume change is a quick one: I lose all fine motor skills in the panic.
I had a wardrobe malfunction whilst sitting waiting for my first entrance yesterday; I caught the zip from the sleeve of my jacket on my fishnets and no amount of prising could release me. A couple of willing stage hands bounded over, eager to assist. After a couple of awkward minutes with them fiddling about with their heads bobbing about in my lap, I shooed them away and yanked the zip, tearing a big hole in the fishnets, which actually added a tad more authenticity to the overall outfit.
I came home, aching all over. We do one dance which involves a great deal of stretching and back-arching. My joints and muscles just don’t do ‘bendy’ any more so I do suffer afterwards. Thankfully a stiff G&T and a hot bath did the trick.
I followed this with a dose of Dorothy. I am in awe of these young girls hoping to star in The Wizard of Oz. It’s so easy sitting at home to be critical and picky but all of these young women are fabulous. Let’s hope they all find success in the future. I am a real sucker for these shows: I soak up all the nonsense, the ‘journeys’, the ‘dreams’, the ‘best experience of my life so far’ (you’re 18, of course it is!).
I was mulling over with Hubby last night as to what show Andrew Lloyd Webber will choose next for a reality show. I thought my own show, Whorehouse, would be brilliant, looking for a new Madam. “And here are all the whores at the Hooker House”. This could be a possibility as I have read that the writers of Legally Blonde have been asked to write an updated version of our musical.
However it really needs to be a male one: it’s been a while since Joseph. The conversation got very silly last night as I suggested Jesus Christ Superstar. Imagine Graham Norton introducing the 12 Jesuses……your task this week, and we’ve come down to the local swimming pool…… ring now to save your favourite Jesus.
The young lads would be saying…I’ve always wanted to be Jesus, it’s my dream…..I really think I could be Jesus.
The idea of ours was finally side-lined as we realised that saying goodbye to Jesus each week might involve a crucifixion. Surely not.
Have you any ideas which musical should be next for the Dorothy/Maria/Joseph treatment?