There aren’t that many benefits of being a school governor, save maybe having a reserved seat for the school productions: a double-edged sword, mind you, as I usually try and slide down the chair to make myself invisible and immune from the seething parents behind me. Trust me, I have tried to sneak in the back, only to be loudly instructed to park my behind on the seat with my name sellotaped to it, right in the front row.
Accompanying children on school trips can go either way, to be honest, in terms of having a good day out. Yesterday’s trip, however, was up there with the best; Year 2’s visit to the local fire station. “Yes, I’m free. When do you need me? I’ll be there”. I didn’t need to be cajoled.
The little tots, their class teacher and I were all very excited as we climbed into the minibus. One girl rather intuitively asked me if I liked firemen. That stopped me in my tracks for a second before I strapped her into the seat and replied, gushing and blushing simultaneously, “But of course I do, doesn’t everyone?” and giggled inappropriately.
The class teacher, Mrs C, seemed just as giddy as me. She had baked chocolate chip muffins for all the boys at the station and her voice, like mine, was becoming more girlish and silly as we were introduced to Fireman Bob and Fireman Andy. Her considerably big buns went down a treat.
The afternoon started well, watching Fireman Andy change into his protective clothing whilst trying to listen intently to the safety information. I was given the digital camera so snapped away and got plenty of close-ups (important for OFSTED, you understand, to have photographic evidence). Though most of the time I was trying to suppress a snort as there seemed to be numerous double-entendres being bandied about: or was that just my filthy mind? We were instructed on the length of their hoses, how to slide down their poles and would we like to look at their large tools or helmets? Who would have thought there was so much to snigger at?
Thankfully the children were blissfully ignorant and behaved themselves impeccably. I will never forget Little Miss G’s smiling face, and the fire-fighters’ surprised look, when she was asked the question “What, apart from the flames, must you be aware of if you are in a fire?” Hoping for the answer “Smoke”, which could still be a struggle for many six year olds to come up with, they were completely blown away by her response:
“Toxic Gases”
What a little star! Half a dozen house points for that inspired answer.
Too soon, too soon, the minibus came to collect us, but not before we were treated to Fireman Andy giving us a quick flash….
…of the blue light of course.
Book me in for next year please. I’ll do the baking. I’m sure they’d appreciate a tempting tart!
I'm quite jealous actually. And funnily enough someone just posted on my blog that you can have children's parties at fire stations! Who knew?!
There is a joke out there about Policemen and Fireman selling raffle tickets but fortunately I cant remember !!!
Hee, hee! Loved this. You have a winning way with double entendres (but then, you are from the Land of Viz). There's always a punch-up between the mums at my kids' primary school when it comes to the fire station trip. I went last year, and the firemen showed us an 'information' film, which was basically them in the gym doing loads of press-ups. I had a hot flush and had to take my parka off!
I left a furiously jealous comment; perhaps you deleted it, or perhaps it was intercepted by the Take Us Seriously, We're MORE Than Sex Symbols Society internet monitoring system.
For the record, I am investigating becoming a govenor myself on the basis of this post.
Mega jealous right now! I got to go with my Rainbows once unfortunately they werent hugely fit! Although when I was training in Indian Head Massage I got to give a fireman a massage, that was nice 😀
Liz – children's parties??? Marvellous idea.
Anonymous – is that you again mother? I know the joke but it has nothing to do with a raffle:
Q- Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen?
A – they sell more tickets!
ELS – No idea where your rude post went, I never saw it. Put your application in, pronto.
NWBI – you wore a parka? Silly woman – I had my best leather jacket and slutty boots on.
Hayley – Head massage? Nice! What about his helmet??
Mmmmmmmmmm Firemen……………….
VB – DOWN GIRL!!
lol – wish you could have come with me on all the lovely trips to nature reserves and draughty castle – gawd how I needed a laugh.